“We Saw Him First”
competing to see whose toolbox was bigger- There are rules
- decided to do it confessional style
- attempt adult conversation while
- walking two dogs at the same time
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“We saw him first, didn’t we Uncle Marigold?” simpered Uncle Gossamer. Between them and the other pair was me, feeling like a birdhouse being assembled by carpenters competing to see whose toolbox was bigger.
“Ladies,” I said, but I couldn’t seem to find my voice. I cleared my throat and tried again. “There are rules for occasions like this.” None of the bandits knew about any such rules, and they weren’t letting me concentrate, but based on what little I managed to recall and articulate we eventually decided to do it confessional style.
I couldn’t imagine how this modus operandi earned them the moniker of bandits, and I had many questions about their customs and costumes, and about the two-dozen discarded wigs a little ways up the tunnel, but there was no reason to attempt adult conversation while our cries of pleasure echoed in the darkness.
“Oh!” squealed Uncle Periwinkle, “where did you learn this trick?”
“College,” I replied. By which of course I meant the Academy, but I didn’t trust any of them enough to mention it. Nor did I think it would be wise to mention just then that back at the Academy we called the trick “walking two dogs at the same time.”
bonus points for using them in order