Tessa Leaned Her Head to the Side
not allowed to wear pants- there are no rules when you’re moving backward
- moving at a sloth’s pace
- darker than the Devil’s ass
- accompanied by a reporter and police officer
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Tessa leaned her head to the side, pondering. Then she gave it a fetching little shake.
“Fingertips, in the library?” I waved my hands so emphatically that I banged them into the walls of the outhouse. “Add that together and you can only get one answer: biblio-zombies. People who died with unfinished reading.”
“Wouldn’t that be most people?”
“Well, there is a bit more to it of course. Necromancy, of the kind where you’re not allowed to wear pants. And if you accidentally put pants on, you have to walk backward because there are no rules when you’re moving backward. But the zombies are fragile, dropping pieces even when they’re moving at a sloth’s pace. The wretched things, borne of magic darker than the Devil’s ass, and their fingertips are the most delicate of all.”
Tessa looked worried. “This all sounds weird, even for you.”
“Look at the article,” I implored. “It’ll say that the wizard wore a robe — no pants — and I’ll bet anything our nimble photo-ratface was involved.”
She consulted the page again. “It says the wizard was accompanied by a reporter and police officer. Suppose the reporter is our paparazzo. How does the cop figure?”
My jaw clenched. I had a fair idea who that was, too.
bonus points for using them in order