Tagged: rubber dinosaur

My Heart Was Neither Open Nor Vulnerable

  • by jenwith a surrealist spirit and a beret
  • but I only have so many middle fingers
  • carrying a rubber dinosaur between them
  • connected to a 1948 zoo escape
  • —that particular blend of anticipation and fear

Tune in next time part 647      Click Here for Earlier Installments

My heart was neither open nor vulnerable, so my attempt at a new surname came with a surrealist spirit and a beret (of the imaginary variety).

“It is not possible to marry three such distinct names verbally,” I said. “I will use the medium of hand gestures, but I only have so many middle fingers, and you’ll need to imagine I am carrying a rubber dinosaur between them.”

As I flipped off the assembled crowd under the guise of a shadow puppet recounting of the gory escapades connected to a 1948 zoo escape, I backed toward the door. Chartreuse and Hildegard raised their own hands, attempting to imitate my motions, while everyone else stared open-mouthed –that particular blend of anticipation and fear that only a good zoo escape story can bring.

As I was about to dart into the corridor and make my getaway, I remembered where I’d seen Dr Ferguson before. I slapped myself on the forehead, and Hildegard and Chartreuse followed suit. Dr Ferguson’s lips twitched.

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When I Saw Him By The Well

  • by jenI intend to win!
  • I saw him by the well
  • what do you want, Raimundo?
  • a transaction betwixt you, me and the August weather
  • carrying a rubber dinosaur between them
  • I am like the fisherman

When I saw him by the well, I should have turned around and taken another route through town, but I did not and now I regretted it.

What do you want, Raimundo?” I sighed.

“Nothing at all Celeste, excepting a transaction betwixt you, me, and the August weather.” He waggled his eyebrows lasciviously.

I snorted at his feeble attempt to woo me.

“Laugh all you like, Celeste,” Raimundo said. “We are both familiar with the old story of the fisherman and the computer programmer carrying a rubber dinosaur between them until one collapsed, proving the superiority of his rival. I am like the fisherman in that story, Celeste, and, just like that fisherman, I intend to win!

I hate to admit it, but my heart fluttered at his declaration.

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