Tagged: disco

I was in the Same Airborne Dinner Theater as Petit Julien

  • by jenmade with real human bones
  • everyone acted like you’d pooped on the floor
  • assortment of exotic jerkies
  • while grunting like a zombie
  • (and in denial)

Tune in next time part 809      Click Here for Earlier Installments

I was in the same airborne dinner theater as Petit Julien, the most dangerous mime in the world, (and in denial). All I wanted was to have a few peaceful hours alone with Tessa, the woman I loved, but our lives were too complicated for even that simple pleasure. Tessa had commandeered the theater’s sound system and was blasting Deuce Pamplemousse’s disco anthem Hop on My Caboose in what I hoped was an effort at distracting the deranged mime. Her attempt was moderately successful. While grunting like a zombie, swaying his hips, and occasionally thrusting one finger to the sky, Julien was still lurching toward me. Hearing a mime of such high calibre making any noise at all was as unexpected as finding an assortment of exotic jerkies in a vegetarian buffet. Mimes are mercilessly shamed into silence early in their schooling. If you so much as sneezed, everyone acted like you’d pooped on the floor.

The audience seemed baffled, and the actors on stage opted to wing it and pretend this was part of the show. I wished them luck as Tessa exited the control booth and the two of us ducked out the back door. I didn’t know what would happen when the song ended, but I did know that Julien had a secret recipe for his white face paint. It was made with real human bones ground into a powder and mixed with petroleum jelly. Contrarian thespians are made of stern stuff, but I wasn’t sure they were up for this particular adversary.

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The Situation Was Dire Indeed

  • by KentWhat kind of traps?
  • why there was a whole cucumber back there
  • purple leather shorts
  • Ha ha ha. (In my personal experience.)
  • not a disco album?

Tune in next time part 808      Click Here for Earlier Installments

The situation was dire indeed if it truly was Petit Julien we faced, the mime no invisible box could hold. What kind of barrier would be effective? What kind of traps? Tessa knew far more mime lore than I did, so I hoped she was aware of some critical weakness we could exploit.

She vaulted over the bar and disappeared through a door. I gave chase and found myself dashing through a commercial kitchen, leaving it behind so fast I barely had time to wonder why there was a whole cucumber back there when the chapel only served them brined and sliced.

Tessa hadn’t slowed down, so I couldn’t afford to either. I pursued her through the dinner theater. I couldn’t remember what show they were running, but the lead actor’s purple leather shorts jogged my memory. It was a Contrarian comedy about dehydration. It was full of dry humor. Ha ha ha. (In my personal experience.) (The animated version ran on weekday afternoons when I was a kid.) (And I was a weird kid.)

I risked a look back. The burly man was still following, and seemed to be gaining. That momentary glance away was all it took for me to lose sight of Tessa. I kept running, scanning the crowd. A few seconds later I deduced that she’d gone into the control booth, based on the sudden blast of music. I hoped this was actually something the Mime King would be vulnerable to. I had no idea what might be effective, so why not a disco album?

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