Worth the Wait

We love to travel. We love to see what life is like in other parts of the world, and visit amazing sights. We had an epic trip to Eastern Europe planned for March of 2020, which didn’t happen for obvious reasons. At first we postponed it a year, thinking “Eh, the pandemic will surely be over by then.” Ahem. So then we postponed it again.

One of the stops on our itinerary was Romania, which is right next door to Ukraine, so things were looking iffy again for a while, but by fall 2022 we were comfortable enough — and vaccinated and boosted — to go. And we are so glad we did.

We met some amazing people, ate some delicious new foods, drank some intriguing new beverages, and managed to squeeze in some research at the same time.

First stop: Romania. Our Bucharest hotel was next door to the Romanian parliament, aka “The Heaviest Building in the World.” Who knew they kept track of such things? We took a side trip to Transylvania to explore some castles and the breathtaking Carpathian Mountains. Kent drank a Dracula beer in the village below Castle Bran. It was red, but contained no actual blood. Bummer. We also visited Snagov Monastery which is both the burial place of Vlad the Impaler and an ostrich sanctuary. One stop shopping for all your touristic needs!

Disappointingly, the Bank of Transylvania is not a blood bank.

We’ll continue our travelog next week. See you then!

Zeus Had Removed His Boots

  • by Kent“Go back in, my sugar bug.”
  • strenuous and dangerous
  • “Fish?”
  • roommate at the university
  • weird washcloths

Tune in next time part 770      Click Here for Earlier Installments

Zeus had removed his boots. The Moon Socks glowed with cold, white light. They were indeed mesmerizing.

“Oh no,” Zeus said playfully. “There’s a piggy poking out!” He waggled the toe, then reached down to stretch the sock out over it. “Go back in, my sugar bug.”

I considered jumping him while he was distracted, but fighting someone so large and unhinged seemed likely to be strenuous and dangerous. I opted instead to try to exploit his distraction another way.

“Hey, Pamplemousse,” I called. “What animals make the best pets on the moon?”

He ruminated for a few seconds. “Fish?”

The answer I had been looking for was mice, on account of cheese somehow, but since he was taking the bait and it was obvious he hadn’t realized it was meant as a riddle I just rolled with his response. “Why do you say that?” I nudged Tessa’s foot with mine to try to get her to look away from the radiant Moon Socks.

“My roommate at the university — and yes, I did almost say moonmate at the lunarversity — had pet fish. I fed them sometimes. I came to think of fish as the ideal pets for anywhere, so of course that would apply on the moon.”

I nodded at Zeus while trying to herd Tessa toward the least candle-filled doorway. Her eyes were still riveted to his feet. The Moon King himself became hypnotized by his own socks. He stared at them while he reached into his boots and pulled out what looked like weird washcloths. I really didn’t want to find out what they were for, but Tessa was moving so slowly I feared it couldn’t be avoided.

bonus points for using them in order

about stichomancy writing prompts

try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!

“Speaking of Birds”

  • by jenland one on his chin
  • used only body glitter for makeup
  • “You don’t have to worry about me.”
  • backstory about my socks
  • what will happen if I let myself fall asleep

Tune in next time part 769      Click Here for Earlier Installments

“Speaking of birds,” said Zeus Pamplemousse. “Before I can allow any wife of mine to spend time with her manstress, she must train a flock of Moon Owls and land one on his chin.”

“That’s not going to happen,” Tessa and I said in unison. The Moon King’s lunacy was quite remarkable. It reminded me of a teacher at the Academy who used only body glitter for makeup, and used quite a lot of it. He was quite sparkly. Problem being the glitter had a high mercury content, and the teacher went quite mad.

I scoped out the zeppelin’s wedding chapel for escape routes, and found them all blocked by candles. Many, many candles. If we made a break for it, it would be quite dangerous. Tessa saw what I was up to, and the look on her face said, “You don’t have to worry about me.” I squeezed her hand.

“And while she is training the Moon Owls,” Pamplemousse continued, as if we hadn’t interrupted him, “she will have to memorize the entire backstory about my socks — my Moon Socks! — and what makes them so special, and why I can never wash them.”

What will happen if I let myself fall asleep right now? I wondered. Will my dreams be any more bizarre than my reality?

I was ready to run for the exit, but Tessa was distracted, mesmerized by Zeus Pamplemousse’s astonishing Moon Socks.

bonus points for using them in order

about stichomancy writing prompts

try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!

It Was… Soap Poisoning

Turning our outlines into manuscripts requires an intermediate step (which we’ve talked about a lot in the past) – stubs. Stubs can be seen as super rough first drafts or as scene synopses. They take the story’s skeleton and fatten it up a bit, to give an idea of how the dots will look when they’re all connected. (Who doesn’t love a mixed metaphor?) When Jen was working on the latest batch of stubs for As-Yet Untitled Ghost Novel #1, she made an uncomfortable discovery. We’d reached a part of the plot where a lot of interpersonal shenanigans happen, and if she wasn’t careful, things would take quite a turn into the soap-operatic.

All of the relationship stuff needs to happen so that folks will be in their correct positions later on to keep the plot rolling as planned. We just didn’t want anyone — readers or characters — to forget that this is a ghost story. Spooky stuff needs to happen from time to time to maintain the eerie tone.

It wasn’t obvious from the outline just how long this stretch of non-spectral stuff would be. It looked like only a bullet point or two, until Jen started to unpack it all. “Lady Marzipan and the Bandit Lord get married” doesn’t seem like it will necessarily need multiple scenes until you remember that they first have to book a venue and hire a DJ, and that those activities are very challenging for them because they are dogs.

By the time it was all sketched out, it came to something like 10 scenes where the ghosts just had no jobs, and that’s too many scenes in a row. Jen sat with the problem for several work sessions, moving the pieces around on the board and folding ingredients in from adjacent sections until the batter was smooth and had a pleasingly marbled appearance. (We use a standmixer to process our metaphors. Saves time.) The weird and eerie elements of the story wouldn’t get lost while the humans dealt with their assorted interpersonal crises.

A writing partner is someone who’s a strategizing chef in the Writing Cave and an osteopathic artist in, well, also the Writing Cave.

“Explain,” I Said

  • by KentI’d already drugged the cat
  • so secret she won’t shut up about them
  • Ramekins, not plates.
  • angle of his eyebrows
  • (or any yellow bird)

Tune in next time part 768      Click Here for Earlier Installments

“Explain,” I said.

“Nuptials fall within the scope of Royal Decree,” Tessa said. “And owing to the Diplomatic Reformation of 1528, Lunar royalty in particular can issue such decrees ‘anyplace the moon has been full.’ That provision is really meant to protect the rights of werewolves and other lycanthropes, but… it’s a loophole that applies to this situation.”

“There must be some loopholes for you to exploit as well!”

Tessa shook her head. “I mean, yes, there would be if he hadn’t closed them all. I had been counting on using the Newmar Exemption.”

“But I’d already drugged the cat,” Pamplemousse said smugly. “Oh yes, I am well versed in all the secret legal trapdoors, so secret she won’t shut up about them in her sleep.”

“What?!” I roared.

“He planted listening devices,” Tessa said reassuringly. “There was one behind each of the commemorative plates on my headboard.”

Pamplemousse frowned. “Ramekins, not plates.” This felt like a picayune detail to create so much intensity in the angle of his eyebrows.

“So anyway,” Tessa said with a sigh, “I’m his wife now. But that doesn’t mean I have to go and live with him or anything. It’s just a technicality. I’m as free as a canary (or any yellow bird).”

bonus points for using them in order

about stichomancy writing prompts

try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!

“We’re Not on the Moon”

  • by jenon the etiquette scale
  • old pal from his carny days
  • , think again.
  • write it in the sky
  • deep and abiding love

Tune in next time part 767      Click Here for Earlier Installments

“We’re not on the moon,” I said. “So all this talk of Lunar Law and Lunar customs is irrelevant.” I took Tessa’s hand. “Come on. We don’t have to play along with him.”

Pamplemousse spluttered about how rude I was. According to him I ranked even lower on the etiquette scale than Greasepaint Gus, an old pal from his carny days.

I replied, “If you think I care at all about the Annual Lunar Etiquette Olympics, think again.”

Tessa wiped the frosting off her face with Pamplemousse’s velvet cape and added, “And if you don’t leave me alone, I’ll have the General here order this zeppelin to do some fancy maneuvers and write it in the sky for all to see that the Moon King used to be a carny.”

I beamed at her. Is it any wonder why I have a deep and abiding love for this woman?

Zeus Pamplemousse chuckled darkly. “Under Lunar Law, skywriting gossip is considered an act of war.”

“You can’t just declare something against Lunar Law whenever you’re feeling shirty,” I complained. “The same way you can’t just declare someone your wife.”

“Well, actually,” Tessa said. “He can do that second thing.”

bonus points for using them in order

about stichomancy writing prompts

try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!

Hard To Believe, But It’s True

Hey! We’re getting really close to done with the first draft of As Yet Untitled Ghost Novel #1. This fact sort of snuck up on us.

Even though we’ve surpassed 92,000 words, and even though we’re definitely on final approach for the climax, and we know these things and talk about them daily, still it feels to us like we’re trying to get started working on this book.

Why do we play these mind-games on ourselves? There could be a couple of reasons.

For one thing, we have struggled to establish a good work rhythm this year. In theory, we write every day except Friday (that’s our night off) but in practice it hasn’t turned out that way a lot of weeks. We did some traveling, and we did some pet-sitting so our kids could travel, and there just seems to always be something coming up to interfere. Plus, we took a pretty lengthy break from writing prose while we planned out this new series. We were still working, but most of it took the form of conversations. We could do it on long drives, and we could do it during dog walks. So we got out of practice with the “butt in chair, fingers on keys” mode of composition.

Anyway, the lack of momentum means needing to get back on the horse, which feels like starting over and contributes to that distorted sense of still being at the beginning of the journey.

Also, and probably related, is the fact that we did indeed plan out the entire tetralogy. There’s a ton of story that we know about but haven’t begun to write yet, because this is only the first book! But on some level, it probably skews our perspective on our progress because all that additional narrative for the remaining books is looming in the back of our minds. We should focus on the fact that we’re 80 or 90 percent of the way done writing this draft. Instead we feel like we’re about 20% of the way through because we’re using the whole series as our yardstick.

A writing partner is someone who occasionally taps you on the shoulder and points out how far you’ve come together.

“And, Also Under Lunar Law”

  • by Kentthe mouthfeel is different
  • didn’t specify whether I wanted the inside or the outside of the cake
  • not even real words
  • wiped them, and put them on again
  • looked me straight in the eye and said, “No.”

Tune in next time part 766      Click Here for Earlier Installments

“And, also under Lunar law,” Zeus Pamplemousse went on, “we must perform the confectionery ceremony.” He must have planned all of this well in advance, because otherwise on top of all the other weird things about him he was turning out to be a dude who goes around with a wedding cake in one of his velvet cloak’s inner pockets.

“You had a wedding cake this whole time?” I blurted.

He shook his head. “This is moon pie. It resembles wedding cake in many ways, but the mouthfeel is different. Not that that’s important to the ceremony.” And with that, he grabbed a handful of moon pie and smushed it in Tessa’s face. “Your turn,” he said blandly.

Tessa snatched up her own handful of pastry. Quick as she was, by the time she got it to his face he’d donned a set of goggles. He chuckled, licking icing off his own face. “That didn’t count, because I didn’t specify whether I wanted the inside or the outside of the cake to touch my skin.”

“You never said anything about that,” Tessa complained. “I didn’t specify either.”

“In Lunar society, only the groom can declare such a preference.”

Tessa seized more moon pie in both fists and pummeled Pamplemousse while grunting savagely. Her feelings on this matter came through even though the sounds were not even real words. When she stopped, Pamplemousse removed the goggles, wiped them, and put them on again.

“Alright,” I interjected, “the confectionery ceremony is a done deal. Can we go now?”

Zeus Pamplemousse looked me straight in the eye and said, “No.”

bonus points for using them in order

about stichomancy writing prompts

try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!

For Years

  • by jengrowing list of weird things I’ve eaten
  • destroyed by a volcanic eruption
  • this polka-dotted nightmare
  • bizarre behavior of the Appletree sisters
  • putting his thumb in the palm of her hand

Tune in next time part 765      Click Here for Earlier Installments

For years I kept a growing list of weird things I’ve eaten. The look on Tessa’s face told me she’d rather eat all of them mixed together in casserole form than continue kissing Zeus Pamplemousse, and yet she soldiered on for the full five minutes. I wish I still had my list so that I could update it, but sadly it was destroyed by a volcanic eruption (along with the rest of my apartment) while I was on a mission. Some say it was deliberate sabotage.

To my surprise, Zeus Pamplemousse removed his mouth from Tessa as soon as the five minutes had elapsed. Her neck and shoulders were speckled with hickies. I longed to save her from this polka-dotted nightmare, but her eyes told me she found the whole thing amusing. I will never understand the bizarre behavior of the Appletree sisters. Tessa, Tesla, Titania, Tatiana, Talulah, and the rest all seemed to thrive on drama, to relish it, to court it at every turn.

“We should go,” I said.

“The Moon King is a man of his word,” Pamplemousse said, unfurling his great velvet cape to release Tessa. And then, putting his thumb in the palm of her hand, he said, “Remember, under Lunar law we are married now.”

bonus points for using them in order

about stichomancy writing prompts

try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!

The No-Look High-Five of Writing With a Partner

Speaking of Sssssynergy!

Jen needed to create the next batch of stubs, so meanwhile Kent was still writing prose and using up the leftovers from the previous batch. This is a normal mode that comes up from time to time in our workflow. Depending on how many new stubs Jen decides to make, and how fast each of us is going, and whether there’s a comet or an eclipse viewable from Earth, there’s usually a bit of a fudge factor. Sometimes Kent runs off the end of the existing stubs, and sometimes Jen rejoins him in the prose-generating hamster wheel sooner than that.

But once in a while we time it perfectly, which is what just happened. Jen completed the final new stub during the same work session that Kent wrapped up prosification of the last of the old ones!

Go team!