Excuses Excuses

r-avatarHow about this winter, huh? I don’t know what it’s like where you live, but here in Skelleyville we’ve gotten about 3,000 feet of snow this year. Couple that with the polar vortex and its subzero temperatures, and we have not been able to maintain our routine of walking conferences.

Call us wimps if you must, but we’d rather stay inside with the fire and a mug or two of hot buttered rum.

A few weeks ago the temperature rose several degrees and we felt brave enough to suit up and take some walks in the winter wonderland. It felt good to stretch our legs, and to have the time to talk through some of the issues that have come up in the editing of the music novel. Sure we can have those conversations inside, but we find that we often make more progress as we progress around the neighborhood. A change of scenery is always good, and the physical activity puts us in a different headspace. New ideas emerge. It’s pretty cool.

So it’s a good thing we found another way to derail ourselves!

LSM

Meet Lady Marzipan. She’s incredibly cute, and incredibly distracting. When we’re working in the writing cave, sometimes she’ll lay and quietly guard the door against invading uffdeguffs (and teenagers), but more often she loses her tennis ball under the furniture, or chews on her squeaky octopus, or rattles her plastic chew bone on the hardwood floor. (Yes, our cave has a wooden floor. Doesn’t yours?)

And who can resist that face?

Now when we take walks, she joins us, and our conversations go like this:

Jen: How’s that scene you’re working on?

Kent: Going pretty well. I’m getting close to the — hey, Lady Marzipan! That’s not your squirrel!

She’s a fuzzy little test of our multitasking abilities. (They’re not all that impressive, turns out.) But on the plus side, Kent and Jen now have someone to cast the tie-breaking vote on those rare occasions when it’s needed!

Behind Half-Closed Lids

  • k-avatarwith their burning eyes and saliva-spun lips
  • Behind half-closed lids
  • infecting several people
  • spring glibly from his tongue
  • the Actor-Robot’s overwhelming hate
  • once through his nose

Behind half-closed lids, the Actor-Robot’s overwhelming hate for the Director-Robot and the Wardrobe-Robot, with their burning eyes and saliva-spun lips, seethed and roiled like the caustic wit that would spring glibly from his tongue, and emerged once through his nose, when he took the stage to mock the President-Robot who, through neglectful hygiene, wound up infecting several people with degenerative robotism.

Bonus points for using them all in one sentence!

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Block-and-Tackle Bill Earned His Nickname

  • by jena four inch green lizard
  • a human-style bed
  • some cook throwing a tantrum
  • aged pile of feces
  • block-and-tackle Bill

Block-and-Tackle Bill earned his nickname on the high school football field. Now, decades of steroid abuse had left him unable to enjoy sexual congress in a human-style bed without the use of a very large block-and-tackle. The irony was, indeed, lost on Block-and-Tackle Bill.

Block-and-Tackle Bill slumped in his leather recliner watching some cook throwing a tantrum on TV. He felt like an aged pile of feces, but in less poetic terms. The only thing that made him smile these days, since his block-and-tackle contraption broke, was Esmerelda, a four inch green lizard who had taken up residence on Bill’s patio. Her skin secreted a potent painkiller and Bill would lick her whenever he could catch her.

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Yup. There are a lot of words.

r-avatarLast night we completed our read-through on the music novel. We knew that the latter portion of it would contain a fair amount of misplaced recap, because of the restructuring (the latter portion was originally the early portion, in fact it was originally the whole book, rife with flashbacks). We did find such material, but it doesn’t have as much bulk as we were expecting, so cutting it back isn’t going to have as much of an impact on the Brobdingnagian word count. Furthermore, there’s stuff we still need to add. Hoo boy. It’s looking like this one could flirt with 200k.

But that’s okay. The book will be the right size, based on the story it contains. There are guidelines, but there isn’t a magic number of words that “good” books consist of.

This attitude is a bit of an adjustment for Kent, in particular. He’s tended to be a bit keyed up about not letting things get too big. In this case, it’s just a bigger story, with more world-building required. There’s also a large cast, all of whom have important functions in the narrative. It’s just big, period.

The scale of your book becomes another point on which you need to agree with your partner. If one of you is thinking of it as a novella and the other as a saga, you’ll probably realize early on that more discussion is needed. But once you’ve agreed that what you’re plotting is “a novel,” be careful of miscommunication. That word could describe anything from about sixty thousand words on up. Of course, there’s an upside to a partnership (as always). A writing partner is someone to help get things in perspective. Editing is a lot of work, and cutting clever stuff is especially hard. It’s all too easy to make excuses for keeping too many words, not paring things down (or conversely for not fleshing them out — too few words is not a typical Rune Skelley problem but we can see how it could happen). A good partner will push for doing things right.

As the Silence of the Sea Swallowed Her

  • k-avatara vast quantity of seaweed
  • the silence of the sea
  • swallowed her brandy
  • applying the battery to one of the pectoral muscles
  • dropped the obsolete word
  • our hands full with the silkworms

As the silence of the sea swallowed her, Brandy sank calmly through the warm, dark blue. The surface was enshrouded by a vast quantity of seaweed, rendering even this shallow depth as murky as the trench miles below. Brandy’s mind grew as dark as the silent sea.

“Her color’s poor, but that can be remedied by applying the battery to one of the pectoral muscles.”

Before Brandy could raise any objections, her color was (presumably) improved. I’ll be fine in a trice, she thought.

“How are you?” inquired the doctor with the electrical fixation.

“I’ll be fine,” Brandy reiterated aloud, although she dropped the obsolete word. “Where am I?”

“SeaSilk HQ. Your arrival was quite unexpected and we were unprepared to treat you. We have our hands full with the silkworms.”

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Felix is Plotting a Rampage

  • by jenthe plight of the American stockbroker
  • with a long-lost sister
  • dancing the wicked flamenco
  • are they being worn by non-members?
  • he will not hesitate to shoot you, whether you voted for him or not

Felix is plotting a rampage at the school’s Homecoming dance. He’s in the running for Homecoming King, but don’t assume you’re safe if he wins. He’s so disgruntled he will will not hesitate to shoot you, whether you voted for him or not. So go ahead and vote for whoever you think is cutest, or whatever the criteria are for the position.

You may well ask why Felix is so bent on dancing the wicked flamenco of destruction. He told me he is concerned for the plight of the American stockbroker. I think he was being facetious.

My theory involves Felix’s recent meeting with a long-lost sister in which she expressed her horror at the thought of outsiders wearing country club jackets to the dance. Have you heard anything about this? Are they being worn by non-members? And if so, is that a call to arms?

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Yoink!

During our read-through of Novel #4 we diagnosed several problems, and have been working to fix them ever since. Unfortunately for one of our characters (we’ll call him Mr X), the prescribed remedy calls for him to longer be a Point of View character. He’s still in the story, and (sad to say) suffers through pretty much the same series of unfortunate events, it’s just that now we don’t get to hear his side of it. He’s a bit miffed at us for silencing him.

A potential upside, from Mr X’s perspective, is that his plot line is now slightly less complicated, which will make his time in the story a smidgen less unpleasant. For Rune Skelley characters, that’s really the best they can hope for: a smidgen less unpleasant.

One of the reasons X got the rug yanked out from under him is that he only had a couple of POV scenes to begin with. We determined that the reader needed more insight into another character (to highlight our creativity we’ll call him Mr Z), which meant making him a POV character. X and Z shared most of their scenes, so it made perfect sense to simply shine the spotlight in the other direction.

That doesn’t mean it was easy, though. Before we could make Z a star, we had to get to know him better. Firstly he got a new name. His original name was “borrowed” from an unpleasant person we dealt with long ago. In the years since, our anger at this person faded and it became less important to do horrible things to his effigy. We also thought better of name-checking an actual living person. So, Z got a new name, and then he and Kent spent some quality time together, discovering what it was like inside Z’s head. Kent emerged unscathed, and now the novel is all the richer.

Swapping Messrs X and Z on POV-duty will make the novel better, which is good because it’s making a lot of extra work. It was among the discoveries we made by retroactively laying out a rainbow for this book, because it showed us in living color that we hadn’t made proper use of Mr X and also highlighted how important Mr Z’s state of mind was to the climax. Even so, it took walking a few laps around the neighborhood to really make up our minds that it was the right move. A writing partner helps you through tough decisions, so you know that all the rework entailed by a major change is really taking you in the right direction.

“Please,” I Begged

  • k-avataryet oddly not hard
  • a huge eel lay on the table
  • like a slender cherub
  • slowly and most wickedly
  • don’t be cruel to me
  • her brows, nostrils, lips

“Please,” I begged, “don’t be cruel to me.”

Her response to my supplication registered slowly and most wickedly in tiny movements of her brows, nostrils, lips, and ears. Finally she marched her fingers across my exposed thigh, her dainty hand looking like a slender cherub.

A huge eel lay on the table beside me. Being dead, it wasn’t strapped down. Being alive, I was.

The woman’s fingers had crossed my lap and attained their objective, curling around the haft of a long knife. It was hard to believe she meant to eat me, yet oddly not hard.

“At least tell me your name,” I stammered.

“Minerva,” she sighed, carving a thick steak from the eel without taking her eyes off of mine.

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Hieronymus Warhol Wandered the Arid Australian Outback

  • by jenonly this wasn’t a dolphin or a lion
  • a certain rock
  • It’s the fever
  • the sparkling synapses
  • tiny bubbles from his angelic lips

Hieronymus Warhol wandered the arid Australian outback in search of his spirit guide for three days before discovering a certain rock that spoke to him. By that time Hieronymus was naked, hungry, sunburnt, and severely dehydrated. The sparkling synapses in his overtaxed mind misfired repeatedly as the rock, the beautiful gray rock, told him where to find his spirit guide.

Hieronymus had been expecting a grand and noble creature to guide him on his quest, only this wasn’t a dolphin or a lion. It was Donald Trump.

It’s the fever, Hieronymus thought as he gazed upon Donald Trump spewing tiny bubbles from his angelic lips.

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Words Count – And We’re Using All of Them!

Edits on Novel #4 (the music novel) are coming along nicely. It’s a huge undertaking, and right now it’s only getting huger. The first draft that we presented to our critique group was 155,000 words (!), which we know full well is long. We gave ourselves a pass on the expansive word count, though, because 20,000 of those words were in the service of supplementary material. Sure, the fancy extras were meant to appear in the finished product, but they weren’t actually part of the narrative, exactly, so they didn’t really count. Right? That’s what we told ourselves in order to be able to sleep at night.

Well, now that we’re deep into the edits, our baby has bloated up to over 180,000 (!!!). Yes, that still includes the supplemental material, and, yes, we’re planning to keep that aspect. In fact, we’ll probably need even more of it, for reasons too complicated to go into right now.

We’ve added something like 35,000 words of new material, and we’ve already removed somewhere between 5,000 and 10,000. It’s hard to keep track of exactly what’s going on, because some scenes have been snipped in one place and expanded in another.

Word count is not the best way to track your progress, and it’s not at all an indication of quality. We know this, and we’re trying really hard not to worry about it. But come on! It’s 180,000 words! We know that’s ridiculous. We know!

The good news is that we still have half of the manuscript to edit, and (fingers crossed) most of those edits should involve removing material that’s now superfluous because it’s covered in all the new material that comes earlier.

I guess this is one potential downside to having a coauthor. One writer working alone would need twice as long to dig a hole this deep.

We got into this situation together, and we’ll help each other get out of it, too.

A writing partner is invaluable for talking through the problems in a manuscript, and making a plan to fix them. A writing partner is a wonderful resource to rely on when faced with a daunting project, like editing an entire novel. And a writing partner makes the best drinking companion when you look at that insane word count and just need a minute to, you know, lose your mind.