I Tried To Take A Casual Step Back
Like peacock feathers,- create a new surname entirely
- expertise in the art of seduction
- what is with all the boob tassels?
- his chair with his bare feet
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I tried to take a casual step back, but Uncle Gossamer’s grip on my shoulder was unyielding. “Hey, that sounds great,” I stammered. “But what I need to do is go the other way.”
The two uncles laughed in unison, throwing back their heads to display their smooth, slender throats. Their chests bounced, giving motion to the ornamental fringe dangling from their complex bikini top. Like peacock feathers, and like their wigs, these tassels possessed an irridescence that enhanced the effect of their swinging motion.
“But you really must come with us,” Uncle Marigold purred. She moved close without seeming to have moved at all, breathing on my ear as she said, “We’ll make you cry uncle. Uncle Gossamer, Uncle Marigold, why you’ll have to create a new surname entirely just so you can keep going. I promise you you’ve never met anyone before with greater expertise in the art of seduction.”
“Only because he hasn’t met us yet,” came another rich, sultry voice. Its owner was another pair of green-wigged women conjoined in a bathing suit even more perplexing than the first duo’s. Its main motif was tentacles, but there was more to it. They spoke again, in unison, but I missed what they said because I was preoccupied with the realization that their suit’s octopus was busy in its garden. A row of some undersea vegetable crossed the shared bust, with sprigs of iridescent fronds strategically placed over all four nipples.
I thought, “These must be the bandits, but what is with all the boob tassels? And why did Tessa want me to wait while she ran away!”
The octo-posse laughed then, just as hypnotically as Uncle Gossamer and Uncle Marigold. They moved around behind me, enfolding me in all four of their arms. “This poor, befuddled person,” they cooed. “He needs to sit in his chair with his bare feet in a nice warm bath.” She whispered in both ears at once. “But, not really his feet, or a bath. But certainly bare, and definitely nice and warm.”
bonus points for using them in order