I Rode In Silence
“Paperwork?”- How much yuckier? This much:
- if in fact it was inspired by an actual human
- the reason we do what we do
- you guessed it — Denver
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I rode in silence for a few miles, racking my brain. The lack of molasses was really making it difficult to envision how Transylvania Homicide Detective Regis St Oink Oink would approach this situation. I decided to take an oblique angle to begin.
“Have you heard from your brother lately?” I asked.
“No, but he’ll soon hear from me. I just have to file the paperwork.”
“Paperwork?”
“Well, yeah. You think life is annoying, afterlife is far yuckier. How much yuckier? This much: there’s a form for everything, and they all have to be completed in triplicate.”
“Who are you talking to?” the Tessabot asked over the roar of the engine.
The ghost of Viscount Jeff laughed. “That’s a fine simulacrum of a human female, if in fact it was inspired by an actual human.”
“It was.” I shook my head. “She was. She is.” I huffed. “Look, I know your name is Jeff, and I can help you get revenge. I’m quite good at vengeance, it’s 90% of the reason we do what we do.”
“Who are you talking to?” the Tessabot repeated.
“Revenge?” the ghost said. “Huh. Hadn’t occurred to me.”
“But you said your brother would hear from you soon, and you used an insinuating tone and turn of phrase.”
“Well, now that it’s been brought up I will consider it. Might be fun. But first I need you to come with me to — you guessed it — Denver.”
bonus points for using them in order