Dr Ferguson Reached Again for my Waistband
why would you ever need more than one cat- some secrets are just not meant to be uncovered
- feeling each other up in your pantry
- shiny because of bug secretions
- “Who whistles for this long?”
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Dr Ferguson reached again for my waistband. Before she could accomplish anything, I heard someone clear their throat. My eyes were focusing on things beyond this world, things in the realm of sensuality, and it was nearly impossible to scan the room for the mystery throat-clearer.
I wondered if it might be Deuce Pamplemousse after all, but the pale bald head suggested not.
In an outrageously accented, smarmy voice, he said, “Look at your back! Why would you ever need more than one caterpillar aphrodisiac? Is your manliness so meager?”
“Hello, Arlo,” I snarled. “They’re not caterpillars. They’re slugs, which means they must be related to you.”
“Ha. Ha. Ha.” The viscount punctuated each word with a clap. “Very. Funny.” He positioned his pudgy body between Dr Ferguson and me.
“Arlo darling, you’re early,” simpered Dr Ferguson. “And you’re still dressed.”
“Some secrets are just not meant to be uncovered,” I blurted. What the hell was Dr Ferguson doing mixed up with the likes of this Svenborgian trash fire?
“Ignore him,” said Arlo. “Come with me, Fergie. I’d like to start by feeling each other up in your pantry. Your chest is so shiny because of bug secretions, it’s very enticing. I want to put my tongue on it.”
“They’re not bugs!” I said. “They’re slugs!” Whatever you called them, the warm, sweet pleasure they brought was overtaking my entire system. I doubted I’d be able to fight Arlo off if he took a swing at me.
“The double slugs are an experiment,” Dr Ferguson said in a babydoll voice, while running her fingertips around on Arlo’s bald head. “He’s my guinea pig.”
Arlo whistled a low note in appreciation of the plan. And whistled. And whistled. He just kept going.
“Who whistles for this long?” I grumbled, right before my consciousness drifted away on a current of pleasure.
bonus points for using them in order