Category: Writing Prompts

Prompts are short, fun exercises that can be used to get the creative juices flowing or break the ice at a critique meeting. They start as a brief list of ingredients, forming a challenge for the writer to incorporate all of them into one self-contained piece. There are many ways to come up with prompts and each author will find a unique way to express a given prompt.

“Explain,” I Said

  • by KentI’d already drugged the cat
  • so secret she won’t shut up about them
  • Ramekins, not plates.
  • angle of his eyebrows
  • (or any yellow bird)

Tune in next time part 768      Click Here for Earlier Installments

“Explain,” I said.

“Nuptials fall within the scope of Royal Decree,” Tessa said. “And owing to the Diplomatic Reformation of 1528, Lunar royalty in particular can issue such decrees ‘anyplace the moon has been full.’ That provision is really meant to protect the rights of werewolves and other lycanthropes, but… it’s a loophole that applies to this situation.”

“There must be some loopholes for you to exploit as well!”

Tessa shook her head. “I mean, yes, there would be if he hadn’t closed them all. I had been counting on using the Newmar Exemption.”

“But I’d already drugged the cat,” Pamplemousse said smugly. “Oh yes, I am well versed in all the secret legal trapdoors, so secret she won’t shut up about them in her sleep.”

“What?!” I roared.

“He planted listening devices,” Tessa said reassuringly. “There was one behind each of the commemorative plates on my headboard.”

Pamplemousse frowned. “Ramekins, not plates.” This felt like a picayune detail to create so much intensity in the angle of his eyebrows.

“So anyway,” Tessa said with a sigh, “I’m his wife now. But that doesn’t mean I have to go and live with him or anything. It’s just a technicality. I’m as free as a canary (or any yellow bird).”

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“We’re Not on the Moon”

  • by jenon the etiquette scale
  • old pal from his carny days
  • , think again.
  • write it in the sky
  • deep and abiding love

Tune in next time part 767      Click Here for Earlier Installments

“We’re not on the moon,” I said. “So all this talk of Lunar Law and Lunar customs is irrelevant.” I took Tessa’s hand. “Come on. We don’t have to play along with him.”

Pamplemousse spluttered about how rude I was. According to him I ranked even lower on the etiquette scale than Greasepaint Gus, an old pal from his carny days.

I replied, “If you think I care at all about the Annual Lunar Etiquette Olympics, think again.”

Tessa wiped the frosting off her face with Pamplemousse’s velvet cape and added, “And if you don’t leave me alone, I’ll have the General here order this zeppelin to do some fancy maneuvers and write it in the sky for all to see that the Moon King used to be a carny.”

I beamed at her. Is it any wonder why I have a deep and abiding love for this woman?

Zeus Pamplemousse chuckled darkly. “Under Lunar Law, skywriting gossip is considered an act of war.”

“You can’t just declare something against Lunar Law whenever you’re feeling shirty,” I complained. “The same way you can’t just declare someone your wife.”

“Well, actually,” Tessa said. “He can do that second thing.”

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“And, Also Under Lunar Law”

  • by Kentthe mouthfeel is different
  • didn’t specify whether I wanted the inside or the outside of the cake
  • not even real words
  • wiped them, and put them on again
  • looked me straight in the eye and said, “No.”

Tune in next time part 766      Click Here for Earlier Installments

“And, also under Lunar law,” Zeus Pamplemousse went on, “we must perform the confectionery ceremony.” He must have planned all of this well in advance, because otherwise on top of all the other weird things about him he was turning out to be a dude who goes around with a wedding cake in one of his velvet cloak’s inner pockets.

“You had a wedding cake this whole time?” I blurted.

He shook his head. “This is moon pie. It resembles wedding cake in many ways, but the mouthfeel is different. Not that that’s important to the ceremony.” And with that, he grabbed a handful of moon pie and smushed it in Tessa’s face. “Your turn,” he said blandly.

Tessa snatched up her own handful of pastry. Quick as she was, by the time she got it to his face he’d donned a set of goggles. He chuckled, licking icing off his own face. “That didn’t count, because I didn’t specify whether I wanted the inside or the outside of the cake to touch my skin.”

“You never said anything about that,” Tessa complained. “I didn’t specify either.”

“In Lunar society, only the groom can declare such a preference.”

Tessa seized more moon pie in both fists and pummeled Pamplemousse while grunting savagely. Her feelings on this matter came through even though the sounds were not even real words. When she stopped, Pamplemousse removed the goggles, wiped them, and put them on again.

“Alright,” I interjected, “the confectionery ceremony is a done deal. Can we go now?”

Zeus Pamplemousse looked me straight in the eye and said, “No.”

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For Years

  • by jengrowing list of weird things I’ve eaten
  • destroyed by a volcanic eruption
  • this polka-dotted nightmare
  • bizarre behavior of the Appletree sisters
  • putting his thumb in the palm of her hand

Tune in next time part 765      Click Here for Earlier Installments

For years I kept a growing list of weird things I’ve eaten. The look on Tessa’s face told me she’d rather eat all of them mixed together in casserole form than continue kissing Zeus Pamplemousse, and yet she soldiered on for the full five minutes. I wish I still had my list so that I could update it, but sadly it was destroyed by a volcanic eruption (along with the rest of my apartment) while I was on a mission. Some say it was deliberate sabotage.

To my surprise, Zeus Pamplemousse removed his mouth from Tessa as soon as the five minutes had elapsed. Her neck and shoulders were speckled with hickies. I longed to save her from this polka-dotted nightmare, but her eyes told me she found the whole thing amusing. I will never understand the bizarre behavior of the Appletree sisters. Tessa, Tesla, Titania, Tatiana, Talulah, and the rest all seemed to thrive on drama, to relish it, to court it at every turn.

“We should go,” I said.

“The Moon King is a man of his word,” Pamplemousse said, unfurling his great velvet cape to release Tessa. And then, putting his thumb in the palm of her hand, he said, “Remember, under Lunar law we are married now.”

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Seeing This Hulking Madman

  • by Kentkiss me as much as he wants
  • farcical aquatic ceremony
  • most of his bones, but not all
  • eat nachos in front of strangers
  • like something out of a horror movie

Tune in next time part 764      Click Here for Earlier Installments

Seeing this hulking madman clutch Tessa’s head while he ranted about hissing lunar apparitions was like something out of a horror movie. I wanted to incapacitate him, bludgeon him, make him eat nachos in front of strangers, and then break most of his bones, but not all of them. But I was in no position to take action as long as he held my beloved’s skull in those enormous mitts.

“I said the word,” I asserted. “You know I did. Now let her go.”

Pamplemousse squinted at me. “You said a word, but was it the word? To me you just sounded like an inner tube that sprang a leak during a farcical aquatic ceremony and sank one of the participants.”

“I thought I sounded like I was in league with the blurry banshees.”

“So you admit it!” he crowed.

“No, you buffoon!” I paused to take a breath before I said anything that would anger him. “If we’re done conferring you can release the lady’s ears.”

Zeus Pamplemousse glanced at Tessa as if he’d forgotten she was there. He let go of her head. He mumbled something and she nodded. He leaned in and they kissed.

“Hey!” I cried.

“Don’t (mmph!) worry! (mwah!)” Tessa said, turning her gaze my way. “I told him he can kiss me as much as he wants for five minutes and we’ll just forget about the whole ‘say the word’ business.”

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Zeus Pamplemousse Clamped his Meaty Hands

  • by jenknown as the paranormal badboys
  • with the light of the moon and the stars
  • at least five members
  • also known as a “blurb”
  • Neptune and I

Tune in next time part 763      Click Here for Earlier Installments

Zeus Pamplemousse clamped his meaty hands over Tessa’s delicate ears and said, “You and your twin are, in certain circles, known as the paranormal badboys of your family.”

This was news to me, but I nodded. I would play along to get him to release my beloved.

“It is very eerie at my Moon Palace,” the mad Moon King continued. “With the light of the moon and stars as the only illumination, the mind plays tricks.”

I bit my tongue to hold back my questions about how much moonlight was actually visible on the surface of the moon.

“Or are they tricks?” His bloodshot eyes were wide and intense. “I and at least five members of my retinue have seen a blurry banshee (also known as a “blurb” amongst the youths), creeping through the corridors. My brother Neptune and I have both heard the blurb hissing, much like you did moments ago. Tell me, oh paranormal badboy, are you a blurry banshee, or merely in league with them?”

All I could think was, “Banshees don’t hiss, dumbass.” But I couldn’t say that to Zeus Pamplemousse, not when he held Tessa’s beautiful head in his mighty grip.

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“Say The Word Now!”

  • by Kent“Ssssynergy!”
  • downright strange yet glamorous outfits
  • live happily in a cheese factory
  • the relatively large size of his feet
  • Madam, I think we

Tune in next time part 762      Click Here for Earlier Installments

“Say the word now!” Zeus Pamplemousse roared. “I gave you three guesses, so the next thing that comes out of your mouth will use the first one.”

This was bad, but he had left me no way to reason with him about it. I shut my eyes and tried to blank my mind, leaving a void where the thing I needed most — the word that this moon-maniac was demanding — would have space to pop up. I drew a deep breath and exclaimed:

“Ssssynergy!”

I hadn’t known what I was going to say, but it sounded right. It was just the sort of empty buzzword that would mean a great deal to someone like Zeus, whose parliament consisted of automata garbed in downright strange yet glamorous outfits, who used to live happily in a cheese factory because he thought it was where the secret world government had hidden its headquarters. He probably thought it was where the raw material for the moon itself was manufactured. The most charitable thing I’d ever heard said of him was that he was a competent dancer, which was especially notable given the relatively large size of his feet. There was every chance he didn’t actually have a specific word in mind.

Zeus Pamplemousse turned back to Tessa and said softly, “Madam, I think we need a moment to confer.”

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“I Was Not Talking About the Corgi Robot”

  • by jenwith a giant candy cane
  • made entirely of mirrors and ice
  • down around her ankles
  • ice cream overflows onto the floor
  • all the shaving cream was gone

Tune in next time part 761      Click Here for Earlier Installments

“I was not talking about the corgi robot,” I said, hoping to distract Pamplemousse long enough that Tessa could wriggle free. There was no way she would want to wear the Moon harem uniform: red fishnet stockings and shoes with a giant candy cane striped heel, and a ribbon in her hair. There was no way she would want to live in a Moon palace made entirely of mirrors and ice. Pamplemousse’s Moonbots were so small they would be down around her ankles when she wore the candy cane shoes, and in danger of drowning when the ice cream overflows onto the floor of the cafeteria when someone forgets to turn off the soft-serve machine. Things like that happen all the time at his Moon Palace, which is why he doesn’t live there. Just last week the Lunar Gazette had a headline about someone leaving a tap open in the barbershop and how all the shaving cream was gone. Imagine a moon palace with no shaving cream! I had no doubt Tessa would never choose to live in such a hellhole. “I was not talking about the corgi robot at all.”

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Zeus Pamplemousse Snickered

Neither of us is super into the holidays, but there are some traditions we enjoy. Chief among them is our annual display of stichomaniacal festivity. Instead of using our snazzy writing prompt generator (like we do every week), at this time of year we choose a seasonally appropriate source for our prompt phrases. In the past we’ve drawn quotes from our favorite holiday movies and lyrics from carols. This year we found a nigh-inexhaustible list of Hallmark and Lifetime Christmas movies and pulled some amusing snippets from the synopses. It’s fun to imagine all of these crammed into one mega-movie. As always, Jen goes first. She’ll write until she incorporates the first prompt phrase, then turn the keyboard over to Kent. We’ll trade back and forth until we’re done. Wish us luck!

  • rambunctious corgi in need of some serious training
  • brilliant, competitive crossword puzzle-solving biology teacher
  • misunderstood grouch just may steal her heart
  • Mother’s former candle-making cottage
  • butting heads over more than just architecture
  • annual Christmas Eve courtroom production
  • quit her job as a rocket engineer
  • undercover as the royal nanny
  • create a tuxedo for one of the city’s most eligible bachelors
  • single and ready to jingle

 

Tune in next time part 759 & 760      Click Here for Earlier Installments

Zeus Pamplemousse snickered. “The only celebrities in Moonopolis are robots, of course. The most famous amongst all the bots is a rambunctious corgi in need of some serious training, and we all know the word I want to hear doesn’t rhyme with K-9. You fool.”

Were I the star of a 1970s-era show about a brilliant, competitive crossword puzzle-solving biology teacher who foils criminals on weekends, the writers would have supplied me with the perfect line in response. But I was on my own. And I was freaking out, my mind spinning worst-case-scenarios about Tessa and Zeus. He’s a king and I am merely a general. If I fail to say the word, the misunderstood grouch just may steal her heart! I’d end up like all the former ambassadors and attaches living now in exile in Mother’s former candle-making cottage. No! That was not how this would end. I drew in a deep breath. “Zeus,” I began, keeping my eye on Tessa in hopes she would signal me if I got close to the correct word. “I know full well that the word does not rhyme with K-9, just as you know full well that I know full well it does not. This is no trifling matter. You and I are butting heads over more than just architecture, we are matching wits over the heart of the most magnificent woman in the world.”

Tessa’s eyes sparkled at my compliment, and she fluttered her lashes. For a moment it seemed like she was blinking in Morse code, but no Academy alumna would ever resort to such a basic scheme. Unless she knew that Zeus didn’t know Morse code, being too busy with lunar affairs of state like the annual Christmas Eve courtroom production of Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer to ever bother learning it. If it was Morse code, then the first letter was a D, followed by O, N…

T, F, O, R. G, E, T… the letters were coming quickly now… T,O, D, R, I, N, K…

Tessa always was a jokester. In fact she quit her job as a rocket engineer to concentrate on her standup routine wherein she does all her bits in character as a spy who went undercover as the royal nanny but was found out because she pilfered all of the linens in the castle to create a tuxedo for one of the city’s most eligible bachelors, which wasn’t part of her nanny duties.

In any case, she was clearly not going to help me help her out of her current peccadillo. Did she want to join the harem of the Moon King? Had she tired of being single and ready to jingle?

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Zeus Pamplemousse Shook Tessa

  • by Kenthad heard rumors, though
  • a sea of dancing women
  • I could tell by his eyes
  • deep thoughts about Pink Floyd
  • eccentric local celebrity

Tune in next time part 758      Click Here for Earlier Installments

Zeus Pamplemousse shook Tessa and demanded again that she say the word.

“I’ll say it,” I said. “Just unwrap her and let her go, and I’ll say any word you want to hear.”

“If I tell you what to say, it takes all the fun out of it,” Pamplemousse grumbled. “I’ll give you three guesses.”

I didn’t know exactly what word he was waiting for. I had heard rumors, though, about troubles with his robotic legislature. There were also rumors that he was looking for an artist to paint him swimming in a sea of dancing women, and I could tell by his eyes that those rumors were all equally likely to be true. For all I knew, his fixation on some word arose out of too many too-deep thoughts about Pink Floyd.

Hopefully, I could trick him into giving me a hint. “Funny how the word rhymes with the name of an eccentric local celebrity. You know the one with the… oh, the thing. You know!”

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