Being A Father Wasn’t My Life’s Dream
barreled into fatherhood- collecting the frog juices
- slobbering over himself
- good old-fashioned jealousy
- got engaged two weeks after her sister
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Being a father wasn’t my life’s dream. I’d always had a take-it-or-leave-it attitude about kids, and yet I barreled into fatherhood with such reckless abandon I had no idea whether this baby in the adorable little gold booties was one of mine.
Fleur lifted the infant she held out of the water with one hand and patted its diaper with the other. “Good thing he’s got this collecting the frog juices.” She chuckled. She was more stoned than I’d ever seen her.
The baby in my lap was slobbering over himself, fist crammed in his mouth. “Better slow down on the cheese, Fleur, or soon you’ll be drooling like this little guy.”
As I expected, this made her immediately reach for the cheese. While she was distracted I signaled to Tessa that she could come up for air.
“What is Isolde doing here?” she demanded in a whisper. If I didn’t know better I’d think my sweetie was suffering from good old-fashioned jealousy. Strange that it wasn’t my wife that brought it out in her, but my sister-in-law. But then I remembered that Tessa and John got engaged two weeks after her sister Tallulah married my brother Thor, which made her my sister-in-law. Was my sister-in-law’s sister also my sister-in-law?
I shook my head to clear it. I hadn’t even eaten any of the camembert and I was still getting fucked up just being near it.
I heard Isolde returning, presumably with towels.
bonus points for using them in order