During Our Senior Year at the Academy
- become a Sasquatch king
- the adults took turns
- I wish I could sing like that
- well, it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy
- multicolored headband
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During our senior year at the Academy I was voted most likely to become a Sasquatch king, largely due to my ability to imitate any bird or beast. John was offended. He felt that a yeti sighting during his childhood in Tibet gave him an affinity for all cryptozoological creatures. He filed a formal contestation of the election results. Our fellow students watched with bated breath as the adults took turns recounting the ballots, and cheered when I was formally declared the winner. Fat lot of good his “affinity” did him now. He was attending an auction staffed almost entirely by “yeti,” who would presumably do his bidding, and yet he was completely unmanned by a single Himalayan Snowcock cry. In my opinion, the Academy students made the right choice.
John careened around the cavern, knocking down trays of champagne glasses, and gibbering.
Tatiana grasped her belly and let out a bloodcurdling wail.
“I wish I could sing like that,” said Maxine. Then she raised her hand and yelled, “I bid two million and eleven dollars!”
“Two million and twelve!” came a voice from deep in the crowd.
“This will take all night,” I said. “Let’s just sneak out the back while John has them distracted.”
Tatiana said, “The stars predicted that if I conceived my children in a cavern I would give birth to them in one, too. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Well, it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy in that case,” I said.
After another contraction, Tatiana said, “Find the yeti in the multicolored headband. She’s their midwife.”
bonus points for using them in order