YoYo Cradled the Tarot Deck to her Bosom
any persons who might be within hearing- Don’t you know that I love you?
- “Hadn’t you better come and ask yourself?” she asked, demurely.
- melts beautifully on the tongue
- one of those times we just did oral
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YoYo cradled the tarot deck to her bosom, closed her eyes, and said, “I call out to any persons who might be within hearing, but who are dead, to guide me.” She then laid one last card in the final position of the spread before her. “The matchmaker! Well, that’s unexpected.” She looked at me and said, “I suppose you’ll have to get divorced.”
“What? Why?” I asked.
“Don’t you know that I love you? It’s written in the cards. There can be no other interpretation.” She tilted her head and squinted. “In truth I don’t feel it yet myself, but the cards don’t lie.” She shrugged.
I was alarmed. “Ask the cards what the Warlord would say if I tried to divorce his daughter.”
“Hadn’t you better come and ask yourself?” she asked, demurely.
“There’s really no reason to,” I said. “I won’t be divorcing Fleur, and you don’t actually love me, no matter what those pieces of painted ivory say.”
“These cards aren’t ivory! How barbaric!” YoYo shuddered. “They’re carved from yeti bones!”
“Yeti bones?”
“In the Paradoxica Mountains we use every part of the yeti. The meat is a specialty, served only at high festivals. It melts beautifully on the tongue…”
“Yeti’s aren’t real.”
YoYo gasped. “Blasphemer! I can’t believe I had sex with a nonbeliever 27 times (even if one of those times we just did oral) and am carrying his child!”
“It’s probably twins,” I said. “They run in my family.”
“I don’t believe in twins,” YoYo spat.
bonus points for using them in order