With Much Effort I Kept the Revulsion From My Voice
- confiscated her hip flask
- a more appropriate resting place
- If you don’t want to cry today
- tiny bubbles from his angelic lips
- a photograph of Harry’s mother
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With much effort I kept the revulsion from my voice. “That,” I indicated the gelatinous blob, “is what the artist has dubbed a photograph of Harry’s mother. Why he calls it a photograph I don’t know, since it is clearly a sculpture.”
Isolde and Fleur were impressed at my knowledge. After last year’s embarrassments, I spent considerable time studying the minutia of Contrarian culture.
“You have stunned Harry!” Isolde cried. She indicated the referee looming over me. “See the spray of tiny bubbles from his angelic lips?”
“If you don’t want to cry today,” Harry said, “you will say something flattering about my mother’s likeness.” He cracked his riding crop on the sand beside me.
I gulped and stared at the blob on the serving tray. “There does not exist a more appropriate resting place than a bed of silver for a woman such as your mother,” I stammered. “Such opulence becomes her.”
Harry roared his laughter, then turned and carried the tray out of the tent.
Isolde pouted in a way that I had not seen since her father confiscated her hip flask at my wedding to Fleur. Clearly she loved Harry and his twisty goatee. There was no other excuse for her to consider his lips angelic. Unfortunately for her she thought she would not be free to marry until her eldest sister, my wife, delivered an heir.
Fortunately for me my studies of arcane Contrarian marital law found a loophole. The wording could be interpreted to mean that she would be marriageable as soon as any of the warlord’s daughters conceived by the eldest’s husband.
“Isolde,” I began.
bonus points for using them in reverse order