William Penn XII Sized Me Up
called the “picker-upper thing”- with considerably less pep
- “What do they look like, these eyeglasses?”
- my increasing cravings
- referred to as “mystery candy”
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William Penn XII sized me up in my new, white uniform and nodded wearily. “That’s right. I should have known this would happen if I showed up in last year’s accoutrements.”
A suspicion flared in my mind. “Did you try to usurp my part in the Spring Scampering?” He nodded again. “And the crowd turned on you?” He shook his head this time. I waited for him to explain his appearance.
“Rodney did this.” William went on to explain that only the fox seemed to care who was emceeing the event or how that person was dressed, and even though he used the special implement called the “picker-upper thing” when attempting to handle Rodney, matters quickly got out of hand. And so, a defeated William had limped out of the courtyard with considerably less pep than he’d entered it. Furthermore, when he suffered the laceration to his brow he also lost his glasses.
“What do they look like, these eyeglasses?” As far as I knew, William did not need glasses.
“They are very stylish,” he replied. “Frames covered with rhinestones, and mirrored lenses. They were necessary to satisfy my increasing cravings for fashion street cred.”
William Penn XII then droned for twenty minutes about his aim to found a designer clothing label specializing in accessories, which he referred to as “mystery candy” and described in tedious detail.
“Are you going to explain why you interfered with the ceremony?” I interrupted.
bonus points for using them in order