“Why Are You Taking Commands From This Guy?”
- It’s a fact that I’m the seventh son
- Mother was worried
- your upper pubic region
- shades of deepest purple and rich royal blue
- It was huge.
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“Why are you taking commands from this guy?” I asked Tessa, but she showed no sign of hearing me. The victrola emitted a scratching hiss, and then it blared accordion notes through the room. Tessa immediately began a marching sort of gait that I was forced to match if I wanted to remain uninjured.
“This is my college band,” Baron von Dimpleheimer crowed over the loud music. “Technically, I wasn’t in it, but I wrote all their originals. It’s a fact that I’m the seventh songwriter they called, but I turned out to be the best!”
Tessa said in a flat voice, “Salutation, ‘Dear Mum,’ decoded. Significance: Mother was worried.” As she droned about the message, she continued the dance and I was compelled to keep it up as well. Few things so motivating as a robot’s knees whizzing toward your upper pubic region. With her in this automated dance-trance, she’d batter me into shades of deepest purple and rich royal blue without realizing it, just as she was unaware that she was betraying me to the Baron by helping him break this code.
But what she was saying didn’t jibe with what I already knew about the postcard’s message. If she was faking, it wasn’t just a big relief. It was huge.
bonus points for using them in order