“When Does This Damn Auction Start?”
located at the base of your spine- enough face cream
- Sorry honey!
- a language that literally no one
- a picture of you in the folder
Tune in next time part 479 Click Here for Earlier Installments
“When does this damn auction start?” I bellowed, striding into the cavern. “Don’t tell me I missed it!” I tried to act as cocky and entitled as the diplomats and spymasters my mother tended to hang out with. My wooden climbing boots gave me a stilted, clattering gait.
My brashness startled Oksana’s yeti minions. Their ninja training took over, and startled ninjas always freeze and attempt to camouflage themselves. I was suddenly surrounded by a forest of frozen yeti statues.
“Jason!” cried Jim in faux-surprise. “You bastard!” And then he made another bird call, this one decidedly less Himalayan.
Oksana straightened her spine and approached me. “You’re not late at all. In fact you’re early. I have to double check your identity, of course. I’m sure you understand. I have a picture of you in the folder of auction material on my phone, which I will now pull out of my cleavage.” She did so. While she compared me to the photo of my twin on her phone, she muttered to herself in Colloquillian, a language that literally no one outside of Colloquillia knew. Except for me. I had a Colloquillian lover years ago, who taught me the basics, after making me promise never to use my knowledge for espionage. That was a promise I now had to break. Sorry honey!
What Oksana was muttering wasn’t very enlightening, though. Something along the lines of “with enough face cream I guess literally anyone can stay youthful.”
I kept my mouth shut while she perused me, so that she wouldn’t see the golden tattoos on my tongue. My brother and I tended to copy each other’s distinguishing features, but as far as I knew, Jason didn’t have those. At least not yet.
“Now Jason, in order to confirm that it is you and not your twin, I need to see the crescent-shaped scar located at the base of your spine.” She smiled without showing her teeth. “I’m sure you understand.”
bonus points for using them in reverse order