Whatever His Faults
touch the cake with their filthy hands- ran out of urine
- — all those beautiful bullfrogs
- “If you wanna eat ‘em, ya gotta listen to ‘em first.”
- giggling as he tempts fate
Tune in next time part 840 Click Here for Earlier Installments
Whatever his faults — and they were many — Chad was a skilled argumentarian and I was quickly backed into a corner trying to justify my decree. We struck a compromise whereby I pretended that what I’d meant all along was a cake in the shape of the zeppelin, not the literal airship itself. The mothers were disappointed in me (and not for the first time).
Fleur sent Chad away to direct the preparation of this scaled-down prize. The devious look on his face as he accepted this task made me uncomfortable. Contrarian confectionery is its own kink, and I cringed at the idea that any bakers on this vessel were going to touch the cake with their filthy hands. The flavor might be palatable assuming they ran out of urine. There would of course be an algae-clogged pond in the kitchen where the frogs — all those beautiful bullfrogs — would serenade the vile pastry chefs. They have a saying: “If you wanna eat ’em, you gotta listen to ’em first.”
And worst of all, the decorator, whose job would be to create a convincing likeness of the Royal Contrarian Airship out of buttercream and fondant. I could just see the madman, giggling as he temps fate with some outlandish improvised coloring additive.
With the prize defined, all that remained was the actual declaration of the winner. Fleur was, of course, still looking archly at me.
bonus points for using them in order