We Rejoined the Officiant
a number of uninvited guests- her attempt at a music career
- and the tackle box she’d filled with
- utter his fearful guttural warnings
- My tradition isn’t weird
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We rejoined the officiant and finished the walk to the temple where the ceremony was to take place. In accordance with Svenborgian tradition, a number of uninvited guests were chained to seats along the aisle. That kept the invited guests, the ones who actually knew what the Viscount whom I was impersonating looked like, further from me. I might actually be able to pull this off.
We looked quite astonishing. Tessa wore only a clunky gold Rolex, and black lingerie, barely concealed by the flimsy scarf she’d wrapped around herself. It reminded me of the stagewear from her attempt at a music career, back during college. I also looked something like a musician in my mountaineering pants, boots, and vest with no shirt. My chest was much more impressive than the real Arlo’s but there was nothing to be done about that. I adjusted the curly red wig to obscure as much of my face as possible.
The officiant placed tiaras on both of our heads, then led us to the altar upon which was arrayed a collection of stamps, ink pads, Arlo’s passport as well as Tessa’s, and the tackle box she’d filled with rubber worms for the guests to pelt us with as we exited the temple, as they do in Svenborgia.
We stood side by side, our backs to the audience, and listened to the officiant utter his fearful guttural warnings. This is what passes for a wedding ceremony in Svenborgia. I know that every culture thinks “My tradition isn’t weird,” but Svenborgians are wrong. Their traditions are very, very weird.
I stamped the Tessabot’s passport and prepared to be pelted with rubber worms.
bonus points for using them in order