They Hadn’t Uncuffed Me
“Look at that thing, man.”- get into the good graces of the buxom widow
- escape from one calamity
- shortly returned on tiptoe
- marry after she graduated
Tune in next time part 250 Click Here for Earlier Installments
They hadn’t uncuffed me, which pissed me off. John, I expected that kind of shit from. I glared at Tessa as I got up. That was also an excuse to avert my eyes from the crotch region of John’s tacky and immodest getup. And vulgar. I mean, was a vacuum sealer involved in putting it on?
Then there was Hipster Jane, the wildcard in my predicament. I swiveled my glance her way, trying to remember everything about her. She’d been in the music scene forever, originally as half of Jane and Able, a wife-and-husband duo. Able liked the groupies too much, though. Eventually he vanished under suspicious circumstances, and Jane shifted to the promotions side of the biz. She taught at the Academy as a sideline: Suspicious Circumstances 101. And she had more than one weakness.
I locked my eyes onto John’s groin, jutting my face forward to really sell it. “Look at that thing, man.” Part one of my plan was to get into the good graces of the buxom widow in the tube top and lamé hot pants.
It worked. Hipster Jane licked her lips and drew hard on her cigarette.
“Enough of that,” John said. “Let’s try to act professional.”
“Wow,” I drawled. “You’re really taking that, ‘dress for the job you want’ advice to heart, aren’t you, John.” Part two of my plan was still coming into focus, but I knew it relied on keeping John irritated and distracted. Otherwise, I’d just escape from one calamity and pratfall into another.
Tessa shot me a weird look, like everything she’d been suspecting had run away to hide around the corner, but shortly returned on tiptoe and whispered new aspersions about me in her ear. Or like she’d surprised herself with the memory of whom she’d planned to marry after she graduated.
Hipster Jane was dragging John up into the root cellar. Tessa was still staring into my eyes.
Time for part three.
bonus points for using them in order