The Make Everything Sound Dirty Code
which people tend to find charming- visible from our tower
- greases itself daily
- an abrupt turn on Tuesday
- but he never showed
Tune in next time part 713 Click Here for Earlier Installments
The Make Everything Sound Dirty Code is the sort of code which people tend to find charming when they first hear about it, but grow to despise when exposed to it in the field. It poisons your mind, and soon everything, no matter how innocuously intended, takes on a lascivious double meaning. I don’t like to even think about it. “That’s what she said,” I muttered. It was starting already! “If this keeps up, I’ll scream — name of your sex tape.”
Fleur looked at me pityingly. A uniformed woman ran up and handed her a slip of paper. “We’re being hailed by Harmonian Air Traffic Control,” she whispered.
I read the message over Fleur’s shoulder. “Contrarian Airship, you are visible from our tower. As you know, our landing strip greases itself daily as a defense against invasion, and our heat-seeking missiles are cocked and ready. Turn back now.”
My brain was reeling with innuendo. Greasy landing strips, fully-cocked missiles. Fleur could see the panic in my eyes, and did the favor of slapping me across the face.
“Thanks,” I said. “I needed that.”
“Airships are slow-moving,” Fleur reminded me. “If we want to avoid war with Harmonia we need to execute an abrupt turn on Tuesday, no later than 1:00 in the morning.” As she finished speaking, all the grandfather clocks aboard the zeppelin struck midnight. “And now it’s Tuesday. We have to get the engines started again, pronto.”
I looked around for the groom, but both he and bride were nowhere to be seen. “Where is John?” I asked.
“He went down that corridor.” Fleur pointed.
“Toward the escape pods?!”
“Of course he saw them during the safety drill, but he never showed any interest in premature evacuation.”
“That’s. What. She. Said.”
I ran after John at top speed.
bonus points for using them in order