The Little Man Continued to Hop and Gibber
with an energy peculiar to excited females- you are so flamboyantly much
- A well-played violin
- he’s always been his parents’ favorite
- you win $50,000!
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The little man continued to hop and gibber about imaginary snakes, with an energy peculiar to excited females, at least in my experience. The incongruity prompted me to look more closely and I saw that “his” beard was stuck on with spirit gum.
“Svetlana,” I sighed, peeling the scraggly thing off her chin, “you are so flamboyantly much.”
A well-played violin is precisely what her screeching reply did not sound like. The dolphin sounds echoed throughout the opera house for at least 30 seconds before she finally resorted to human words. “You’re such an asshole! Just because I tricked you into getting me pregnant, stole your clothes, and abandoned you on the train, you think that makes it okay for you to run off with your wife for months at a time?” She huffed and stuck the fake beard back on her face, crookedly. “It’s lucky for me I’ve got Thor convinced he’s the father. He’s always been his parents’ favorite, you know.”
That stung, seeing as Thor’s parents and my parents were the same parents.
Svetlana continued, “You’re such an asshole, in fact, that in the Asshole Olympics you win $50,000! Before you get too excited, you should know that’s only equivalent to the Bronze Medal.”
I didn’t dare ask who took Gold and Silver, but I did feel obligated to tell her of Thor’s current whereabouts. She could hardly trick him into raising my bastard child if the vegetable militants killed him, and that would put me in a very tight spot with my warlord father-in-law.
bonus points for using them in order