The Last Time Jim Took Hallucinogens
unzip his skin suit to reveal a garbage monster- biologically a man
- used more lime juice
- You are a national treasure
- instead of quacking
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The last time Jim took hallucinogens in my presence, he announced that he was going to unzip his skin suit to reveal a garbage monster, but all he actually revealed was that he is biologically a man. If he wanted to do that again in front of Oksana’s bidders, that was his business. Many of them might even enjoy it. I wished I could leave him to it and hike back to Enigma Fortress, board my battle zeppelin, and fly away from all this madness, but I couldn’t risk an intoxicated Jim falling into the wrong hands. At the very least, I needed to find out who was interested in buying him.
Moments later, a ninja in a yeti suit scuttled past me and into the cavern, carrying a medicine dropper. Jim blustered in resistance, but allowed himself to be dosed with little real struggle.
“Not bad,” he said. “But it could have used more lime juice.”
The yeti ninja sniffed doubtfully at the dropper, then moved to the edge of the chamber where he did a passable job of blending in with a pile of fur pillows.
Over the next few minutes, Jim began to hum and laugh and whoop. It seemed to me that he was exaggerating the effects of the drug, but the yeti ninja seemed fooled.
Oksana strode in, dressed in a tight jumpsuit of white fur, with a shiny black belt slung jauntily across her hips. The glasses perched on her nose were the only hint to her librarian past.
“You are a national treasure!” Jim cried upon seeing her. “And I am a duck.” But instead of quacking, he made cooing sounds like a dove. Of all my siblings, I am the only one who is able to imitate any bird or beast, but a duck really isn’t that hard. I was disappointed in Jim.
bonus points for using them in order