The Hand-Painted Pornographic Butterflies
figure out where to put my fingertips- “You’re in trouble Kemosabe,”
- trip to Hot Topic could sort you out
- he would learn of my sexuality
- your feet were just innocent bystanders
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The hand-painted pornographic butterflies flitting around my head were such a distraction I had trouble picking up the microphone. I couldn’t figure out where to put my fingertips, or my thumb. Svengorgian AV equipment is very confusing.
“You’re in trouble Kemosabe,” Tessa said with a smirk.
My palms got sweaty, making the microphone even harder to grip. “You’re in trouble, Kemosabe” was Jason’s fastest, most tongue-twisting rap, and now that the bride herself had requested it there was no way I could get out of performing it. Why was she being so devilishly cruel?
I launched into it. “A trip to Hot Topic could sort you out. You could freshen up your wardrobe without a doubt. The clerk — he would learn of my sexuality, and, Kemosabe, he would give you all those clothes for free!”
That was the easy part. The warm up. I started to feel the flow, and was rapping smoothly until I got to the part about trying on boots and forgot what rhymed with “your feet were just innocent bystanders.”
I tried to improv it, but the whole wedding crowd was staring at me. Which they had probably already been doing since I was performing on stage, but I couldn’t be sure. Did they look more hostile than usual?
bonus points for using them in order