The Hall of Mirrors Didn’t Slow Ulrike Down
leaned over my sleeping wife- their colored turbans
- Right?
- sat down lumpily
- planted a big kiss right on Hopfrog’s mouth
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The hall of mirrors didn’t slow Ulrike down as much as I’d hoped, but I had a good head start and the chaos of the midway to conceal me. I got on the carousel, riding a giant amphibian and checking on my would-be pursuer on each revolution. The clot of teenagers outside the funhouse distracted her, and by the time my warty steed, Hopfrog, brought me back around she was sashaying away with one arm around a boy and the other around a girl. They weren’t even putting up too much of a fight.
To celebrate, I swung out of the saddle and planted a big kiss right on Hopfrog’s mouth. But I was a little dizzy from the ride and sat down lumpily on the floor. It’s normal for adults to be more susceptible than kids to this kind of circular motion. Right?
Hopfrog winked at me. I smacked my numb lips and tried to stand up, but it was no use. I knew now that the frog’s kisser had been coated with real bufotoxin, by someone who knew me well enough to anticipate that I’d choose that mount, and that I’d lay one on it.
There was only one person on Earth who could predict my actions so uncannily. Her agents were easy to spot by their colored turbans, not that I had any hope of evading them now. As I blacked out I felt strong hands loading me into a crate.
I came to in a tent, a gentle ocean breeze coming in through the open flap. I leaned over my sleeping wife and tried to guess why she brought me home.
bonus points for using them in reverse order