The Elaborate Calligraphic Numerals
she washed it- something was lurking in the shadows
- These guys can kiss my ass.
- She’s a beautiful angel
- um… yesterday
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The elaborate calligraphic numerals tattooed in gold on the lurker’s cheek identified him immediately as my brother-in-law. “So, William Penn XII, we meet at last.”
“I would have been at the wedding,” he replied with shrug, “except that I have a sworn blood feud with both my father and Fleur. My mother filed all the paperwork when I was but a babe in arms, and you know how Contrarians are about rituals and formalities and all that.” He stroked his cheek. “Mother also gave me this tattoo when I was too young to object.” When he saw my horrified expression he rushed to add, “She washed it first, of course. My cheek, I mean. She was very hygienic, my mum. I’ll give her that.”
I heard a rustling noise. Something was lurking in the shadows behind this man who had been lurking in the shadows.
“What are you doing here?” I demanded.
“I’m sure you’re aware of how highly in demand your ‘exotic substance’ is. I’m afraid that’s my doing.”
The fox appeared from under the bed just long enough to give us a look that said, “These guys can kiss my ass.” He then disappeared again.
“What a lovely fox,” said William.
“Forget about the fox,” I said. “What’s this about you being the one who wants my semen?”
William sighed. “It’s the only way for me to break the blood oath. Well,” he tilted his head and pursed his lips, “the easiest way.” He could see my confusion so he went on. “The easiest way for a Contrarian second-born to nullify a blood feud with the firstborn and heir is to present the firstborn their own firstborn.”
“What?” asked YoYo, which meant I didn’t have to.
William explained, “If my sister’s husband gets my wife pregnant and we give the resultant offspring to Fleur to add to her royal brood, then this ridiculous blood feud will be declared null and void and I will be free to enjoy the life of leisure I am entitled to as prince.”
“Wait,” I said. “You want me to get your wife pregnant?”
“I was hoping to do it without bothering you overmuch, which is why I sent agents to collect samples. I envisioned an in vitro conception. It seems, though, that my orders became garbled.”
“Does Fleur know about this?” I asked.
“Does it really matter?” He waved a hand toward YoYo. “I know you and Fleur have an understanding. Here, meet my wife.” He reached back into the darkness and pulled forward the second lurking figure. “She’s a beautiful angel, wouldn’t you say?”
She truly was lovely, with dark skin and black hair. “What’s your name?” I asked her.
“Um… Yesterday,” she said, licking her lips.
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