The Blue Panda And I Stared At Each Other
glue a rug to a hardwood floor- you mean an orgasm
- like most parents
- I know that it’s you
- I bounded with my old agility
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The blue panda and I stared at each other in silent stillness. Slowly, it raised its right paw, then executed a perfect royal parade wave: elbow, elbow, wrist-wrist-wrist. The unexpected gesture stunned me, and the fuzzy mascot tried to use my momentary confusion to escape.
Of course, there was nowhere to hide in the zeppelin’s gondola. With a single belated leap I overtook and tackled the azure beast.
“Ah-ha!” I crowed, tugging on the panda’s head. But it wouldn’t come off. Anyone who’d permanently attach a costume’s head would probably glue a rug to a hardwood floor. Straddling my prone quarry, I pulled harder on the head. Muffled noises came from the costume’s occupant.
“That sounds like someone in the throes of passion,” Fleur drawled.
“Oh, you mean an orgasm,” Isolde chirped.
“Sister, please!” Fleur scolded. “Language!”
Like most parents, Fleur wanted to protect her offspring’s tender ears. I was more concerned with exposing more direct threats. If the armadillo had really been Viscount Arlo, then this creature was certain to be his accomplice.
“Your disguises were clever,” I grunted, “but go ahead and reveal yourself. I know that it’s you!”
I was bluffing, of course. I had no idea who might be working with Arlo. As I continued my struggle to remove the panda’s head, I couldn’t get the image of its waving paw out of my mind. Over and over it repeated: elbow, elbow, wrist-wrist-wrist. It felt like a code, but it wasn’t one of the Academy ciphers. Unless–
With a gasp, I bounded with my old agility off the panda’s back. “Oh!” I cried. “It is you!”
bonus points for using them in order