The Alchemist Threw Valentina
his itty bitty mustache- about as plush and inviting as a youth hostel
- buy my ovum for $50,000
- you’ll start hearing it in your sleep
- what you might call “granola,”
Tune in next time part 670 Click Here for Earlier Installments
The Alchemist threw Valentina a nervous look, then met my glance and held one finger up to his itty bitty mustache, which was about as plush and inviting as a youth hostel‘s bath mat. The pantyhose interfered with my nasal functions too much for me to smell anything at all, but I started to suspect that my would-be rescuer might be giving off some kind of funk, and it was making Valentina suspicious.
“Oh, this is my jam!” someone yelled out in the street. An unseen car’s stereo system suddenly pummeled the chalet with horribly distorted bass notes. Then a familiar voice joined the noise — my twin brother belting out the only wedding rap that he’d ever charted with.
She said let’s get hitched up by some dude with priestly collars,
“Less you wanna buy my ovum for $50,000!”
“Ugh,” cried Valentina. “Make them turn it down!”
That’s the thing about any of Jason’s ditties. Let it play for ten seconds, and you’ll start hearing it in your sleep. The song kept blaring.
The cake is all made out of what you might call “granola,”
cause you didn’t bribe the baker $50 like I told ya!
bonus points for using them in order