That’s Not The Right Costume!
- I would have answered in good faith
- you needed an egg-beater
- Yap-yap-yap, all the livelong day
- Sexually naive farmboy
- “How do you know my name, old nut-cracker face?”
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“That’s not the right costume!” yelled the heavyset man backstage. His face seemed permanently locked into a teeth-baring grimace, and his tone of voice unable to deviate from exasperated-suburban-princess. “Where did you even get that thing?”
I would have answered in good faith, but considering the complexity of the honest explanation I couldn’t afford to take that kind of time.
The man stood with one hand on his hip, appraising me. “It’s all gonna come off anyway, am I right? But no, it’s all one piece. You need some way to put the tease in the striptease, you needed an egg-beater if you know what I’m saying.”
I nodded, because the odd figure of speech was yet another code phrase. Tradecraft amounts to an awful lot of talking sometimes. Yap-yap-yap, all the livelong day.
“Sexually naive farmboy, roll in the hay, and close the barn door.” I was taking some liberties with the countersigns, but desperate times and all that.
His eyes grew wide as he breathed five syllables that I hadn’t heard in a very long time.
I grabbed his furry pink lapels and demanded, “How do you know my name, old nut-cracker face?”
bonus points for using them in order