Tagged: tune in next time

The Stairs Continued Up For Several More Flights

  • by jen“What color are your panties?”
  • pop his gum annoyingly
  • No, I still hate him.
  • important landmark
  • in a bathroom with an anchor

Tune in next time part 917      Click Here for Earlier Installments

The stairs continued up for several more flights, until I was sure I must be nearing the summit of the summit facility. Unbidden, my hand turned the knob on the only door and I found myself in a bathroom with an anchor-shaped toilet and a porthole-shaped mirror. The Nautical Restroom is an important landmark in any Colloquillian public building. This one being full of salamanders meant it was consecrated, and I shouldn’t enter.

But enter I did, compelled by the nanobots coursing through my system. I tangoed over to the very complicated toilet and relieved myself. You might think that I would be grateful to my puppeteer for allowing me to empty my bladder, and providing the knowledge on the workings of such obscure plumbing. No, I still hate him. I imagine he’s the kind of guy to pop his gum annoyingly while you’re trying to read, the kind of guy who asks perfect strangers, “What color are your panties?” and acts offended when they act offended. I didn’t want someone like that handling my junk, even if they were using me as a proxy.

I washed my hands in the clamshell sink.

“At last, we meet again,” came a voice from behind the seaweed shower curtain.

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“Bjorn, I Presume?”

  • by Kentit feels a bit… forced.
  • the Queen’s public image isn’t exactly one of wild frivolity
  • smell anything out of the ordinary?
  • moved there two years ago to join a cult
  • conducts disturbing hot dog experiments

Tune in next time part 918      Click Here for Earlier Installments

“Bjorn, I presume?” I asked through clenched teeth. I was still under the nanobot swarm’s control, but having reached my destination it seemed that their hold on me relaxed.

“I didn’t give you permission to speak,” was the reply.

“Yet speak I can, even if — like a lot of things around here — it feels a bit… forced.” Whoever was hiding in the shower, he obviously had the phone with the control app that I desperately needed. I stalled for time while I tried to think of ways to get it from him. “How’s your sister these days?”

“She’s fine. Quite giddy actually, even though the Queen’s public image isn’t exactly one of wild frivolity. I’ve just come from one of her secret parties; smell anything out of the ordinary?”

Ursula was Queen of Colloquillia? That was impossible. I kept up with political news. I knew all about the Queen, how she was an outlander who’d moved there two years ago to join a cult that conducts disturbing hot dog experiments, and wound up running it in a week and then parlayed that into running the whole country. Her name wasn’t Ursula, it was… Her name was…

Why couldn’t I remember that name?

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Curse These Nanobots!

  • by jendiscovered I was married to a different person
  • taste like “nature’s candy”
  • Because I am my own worst enemy.
  • make the “magic” happen?
  • penmanship skills

Tune in next time part 919      Click Here for Earlier Installments

Curse these nanobots! I had to get rid of them before I lost any more memories, or discovered I was married to a different person in addition to the several I was already married to. Bjorn, or whoever it was behind the shower curtain, chuckled. “Anyone ever tell you that confusion looks good on you? It makes you look like you taste like “nature’s candy”, if you know what I mean.”

“Tell me what you mean,” I said. Because I am my own worst enemy.

“Why don’t you join me in the shower and we’ll make the “magic” happen?”

This dude spoke with so many air-quotes, he must be a native Colloquillian. I decided two could play at that game. “Will you show me your “penmanship skills?” I purred.

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“Listen,” The Mysterious Man in the Bathtub Sighed

  • by KentThen I put them back.
  • arrived in 8 large boxes
  • what they’ve done to my father’s koi
  • as far as my layman’s eye could see
  • can’t you hear the thunder?

Tune in next time part 920      Click Here for Earlier Installments

“Listen,” the mysterious man in the bathtub sighed, “I know what you’re looking for. That is, I know who you’re looking for, and it’s not me. Or, not just me.” He let out another heavy sigh. “I did take some of your memories. Then I put them back. I only borrowed them, and made copies of parts of them. I ordered a printout and it arrived in 8 large boxes.”

“Why won’t you show yourself?” I demanded. “You hide behind that shower curtain, and you tell me you tampered with my mind, yet it sounds like you want me to trust you. I’d sooner trust the Sashimi Shadow Warriors, despite them being ninjas, and even after what they’ve done to my father’s koi.”

“Your father never had any koi. Whoever else messed with your memories must have added that to overwrite our partnership. It had to have been done later, because there was nothing amiss in the whole 8 boxes of data as far as my layman’s eye could see.”

It was my turn to sigh. “Do you or do you not have the phone that controls the nanobots?”

“Let me answer with another question: can’t you hear the thunder?”

It was a trigger phrase, and it was doing something, whether to me or to the nanobots I wasn’t sure. All I knew was that a bizarre, dizzying sensation was welling up from somewhere and I was afraid to find out what it meant.

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On a Hook Beside the Anchor Toilet

  • by jenclearly did not have arms
  • Mother was worried
  • cash to pay someone else to do so
  • unnecessarily clandestine
  • in stunning unitards

Tune in next time part 921      Click Here for Earlier Installments

On a hook beside the anchor toilet hung a garment made of terrycloth. It resembled a robe, but clearly did not have arms, making it more of a robe/vest hybrid. When I entered the Academy, Mother was worried that I might go into fashion design instead of spycraft. She’d bribed me to enter the family business. I had brilliant fashion ideas, and if I wasn’t permitted to see them through, at least her bribes provided me enough cash to pay someone else to do so in my place, to bring my visions to life. This luxurious vest-robe, called a vrobe in my unnecessarily clandestine sketchbook, was the first of my designs I had seen in person. Unless you count all the acrobats in stunning unitards of my devising that populate the circuses of the world. Which you should. But the vrobe I now held in my hands was even more magnificent. A tear trickled down my cheek as I realized that the man lurking behind the seaweed must be my sartorial partner. If only I could remember his name.

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I Was Having So Much Trouble

  • by Kentthat weird interdimensional thing from the internet
  • someone to share a rowboat with
  • “Squirrels are sort of cute and fuzzy.
  • and then he did some weirdo stuff
  • “Give him another pill.”

Tune in next time part 922      Click Here for Earlier Installments

I was having so much trouble remembering names, soon I might forget my own.

“I see you found my hint,” said the unknown person behind the shower curtain. “Took you long enough. Now, pass it in here so I can put it on.”

“Hang on,” I said. “We both want something, and if I give you this then I’ll lose what little leverage I have, and you won’t give me the phone.” A thought hit me. “Which you obviously don’t have anyway, because if you could control these nanobots then I wouldn’t be able to refuse your demand. Shit.”

“Actually, we both want the same thing,” he said. “That phone. It has many dangerous apps, including one that opens up that weird interdimensional thing from the internet, and a rideshare app that only lets you call someone to share a rowboat with. Now, pass me the vrobe and let’s get moving.”

I pondered. There was no reason for me to believe anything he said, and he’d just admitted that he didn’t have what I needed. And yet, it did seem like there was some connection here, that he could help me unlock my own past. I stared at the vrobe. With it, my new acquaintance could cover himself up. Covering things up was the reverse of what I wanted. So I said, “Squirrels are sort of cute and fuzzy. What about you? Why not just come on out?”

He cursed under his breath, and then he did some weirdo stuff that I couldn’t see but it sounded super weird, and then the drain started gurgling. After a minute, it fell silent.

“Hello?” I called. I whipped the shower curtain aside to discover no one was there.

One of the salamanders on the wall said to the one beside it, “Give him another pill.”

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I Had Never Met These Salamanders Before

  • by jenand then the palm of his hand
  • burbling stereophonic sound
  • armed with an avocado
  • They hiss.
  • matrimonial energy

Tune in next time part 923      Click Here for Earlier Installments

I had never met these salamanders before, but the two of them gave off a strong matrimonial energy. Do salamanders marry? They hiss. They eat worms that have been warmed with an avocado dressing. They make a mysterious burbling stereophonic sound when they are plotting against me. But do they enter into binding legal contracts as couples? For the life of me I couldn’t remember.

“Rub the pill on his fingertip and then the palm of his hand,” the husband-salamander said.

“It needs to go in his mouth,” his amphibious wife replied exasperatedly. She sounded a lot like my own wife.

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“Hold On, Hold On”

  • by Kentfashion vigilantes, out for blood
  • That’s how mad I’d be.
  • glimpses of other people’s secrets
  • kestrel flying over Deptford gasworks
  • the so-called “Law of Urination”

Tune in next time part 924      Click Here for Earlier Installments

“Hold on, hold on,” I said to the salamanders. “There’s already too much going in inside me, with the nanobots and all, so I’ll thank you not to throw any mystery pharmaceuticals into the mix right now.”

The wife-a-mander said to the other one, “With the pill in his mouth, he wouldn’t be able to talk.”

“Sir,” said the hubby-mander, “those nanobots are exactly why you need the pill. It will put them into sleep mode to buy us time to help you.”

Help me? The very idea had never occurred to me, that maybe they weren’t enemies. I figured they had to be fashion vigilantes, out for blood over my bold innovations. It had already crossed my mind that they might be spouses not of each other but of some of my many romantic partners. It still wasn’t clear to me why they were salamanders. Maybe they were so mad about the infidelities that this happened. That’s how mad I’d be. Except, Fleur and I had an arrangement, and it was usually me stepping out. So on second thought, I couldn’t imagine being angry enough over it to go full-amphibian.

The pill was in my mouth. I had no idea how it got there, and before I could spit it out there was a glass of water and I was swallowing.

The wife-a-mander sighed. “This is so much hassle just for a few glimpses of other people’s secrets. Better to be a kestrel flying over Deptford gasworks.”

That had to be a Colloquialism, but it wasn’t one I knew. The pill started kicking in, and it was definitely going to put me into sleep mode whether it affected the nanobots or not. The last thing I heard was the hubby-mander using another local expression, this one about the so-called “Law of Urination” and what it meant for my situation.

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