Tagged: stinging insect

“I Never Should Have Gone To That Frat Party”

  1. by jenCharacter – recently hypnotized male college student
  2. Setting – whorehouse
  3. Object – large pink balloon with 25 live bees inside
  4. Situation – servicing the addiction

“I never should have gone to that frat party,” Josh grumbled. The situation he found himself in grew stranger and more worrisome by the second. Josh tried to remember what had happened.

At Kappa Delta Rho house, the brothers had decided to try something different. Instead of a band, which inevitably led to noise citations, they hired a hypnotist for entertainment. Josh thought that it was supposed to be the girls who were hypnotized out of their inhibitions (and clothes), but he wound up being one of the first “volunteers.”

Next thing he knew, he was here, wearing a frilly, pink and white teddy and holding an oversized pink balloon.

And now the balloon was buzzing.

Josh gave the balloon a shake and the buzzing grew angrier. Something inside thumped against the taut membrane. Josh frantically ripped at the white ribbon which connected it to his arm, to no avail.

The red velvet wallpaper and faux-fur bedspread added to Josh’s unease, as did the rhythmic creaking of bedsprings and regular grunts from the other side of the wall.

Josh drew his knees up to his chest and hugged himself, the balloon bobbing just above his head.

Moments later a hidden door opened and two people entered. One was a middle-aged woman in a long silky robe and fluffy, high-heeled slippers. The other was the university president, wearing a cowboy outfit.

“Thank you, Miss Kitty. This one looks mighty purty,” the president said.

“Don’t you go hurtin’ this one, Tex,” the madam replied.

“I won’t, I won’t. Are all the bees in there?”

Josh glanced worriedly at his balloon.

“All 25,” the madam said, and left the room, closing the door behind her.

The university president peered down at Josh while slipping out of his spangly, fringed shirt. “Well now, Missy. There’s no need to be so worried. As soon as I get my bee fix, we’ll get down to business.” He popped the balloon.

Josh screamed.

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Dr Clamdigger Strolled in the Gentle Surf

  1. k-avatarCharacter – oversexed physics professor
  2. Setting – tropical island
  3. Object – wasp
  4. Situation – splitting headache

Dr Clamdigger strolled in the gentle surf, admiring the student body. She acted aloof, but he knew she was admiring him, too, as she lay propped up on a towel halfway up the beach.

Yes, teaching physics at Cayman U was a great gig.

Dr Clamdigger altered course and placed his prodigious shadow over the coed’s bikini-clad torso (and, for the most part, her legs).

“You’re blocking the sun,” she protested petulantly.

“Impossible,” Dr Clamdigger said. “The sun is a star, a seething fusion reactor, while I am,” he ran his hand down his hirsute belly, “but flesh.”

“Well, Skipper –”

“That’s Professor!”

“– whatever. You might want to move.”

“So you can work on your tan lines?”

A volleyball ricocheted off Dr Clamdigger’s head. He swayed, but the sunbathing student didn’t flinch.

“Yeah, that too.”

Dr Clamdigger staggered into the waves and collapsed, not hearing the calls of, “Dude! Little help? That’s our ball!”

As the warm salt water lapped at his sides, Dr Clamdigger saw his nemesis chatting up the pretty student. It was Professor Henderson, showing off his pet wasps again.

Damn entomologists get all the chicks.

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Hank Moved Swiftly

  1. Character – Ninja, just one week from retirement
  2. Setting – shopping mall
  3. Object – large pink balloon with 25 live bees inside
  4. Situation – obscene phone call

Hank moved swiftly and silently among pleated slacks, pursuing Max through menswear, both of them unnoticed by the many shoppers despite being locked in mortal combat. Hank had learned much in the food court. He knew this was a serious thing, that he could fail. Such dishonor, just a week from retirement.

He’d carried on his pursuit relentlessly from the far end of the mall, except when he’d moved swiftly and silently to the front of the line for frozen yogurt. He knew that others of Max’s clan were present. Battle was finally getting close. Max seemed to be slowing.

Hank sensed a trap, and changed from hound to fox just in time. Leaping unseen over the tops of the racks, he fled Sears. As he’d thought, three ninjas gave chase.

He wove among the crowd, seeking a place of refuge. There! Squeak’s Boutique would be a perfect hiding spot.

Diving headlong into a bin filled with anthropomorphic inflatables, Hank used his ninja skills to make himself as light as them. His pursuers entered. Live bees careened within a pink female balloon marked “special order” and he could hear the telemarketers in the back room making lurid suggestions to retirees. The searchers began to paw through the contents of the bin.

Light and bouncy, thought Hank, forming a perfect circle with his lips. Light and bouncy…

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“You Terwilliger?”

  • by jenthe minister started to protest
  • You Terwilliger?
  • a skull with candy lettering
  • a tapestry of golden bees
  • jerked the boy upward
  • an alien tongue

“You Terwilliger?” the burly man demanded.

The minister started to protest that he was not, in fact, Terwilliger, but then he realized that the burly man was not talking to him. The minister turned his attention and saw a teenage boy standing behind him in line, clutching a skull with candy lettering that read something unintelligible in an alien tongue. On his chin a tapestry of golden bees formed the beard that puberty had not yet provided.

The burly man jerked the boy upward, scattering the bee beard into an angry cloud.

“The boss has been waiting for that,” the burly man said, indicating the decorated skull and dragging the boy inside the nightclub.

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