My Stomach Attacked Me
my stomach attacked me- on an inaudible chemical level
- unimaginative weapons
- Pardon my patronizing tone
- she feigned innocence
- The trees helped a lot
- Improved by human effort
My stomach attacked me with the unimaginative weapons available to such an organ, assailing me with ferocious pangs and horrendous cramps on an inaudible chemical level.
The trees helped a lot, abounding with apples, pears, and squirrels. Soon my appetite was sated.
“Pardon my patronizing tone,” announced an unctuous female voice, “but what are you doing up in my tree?”
“Your tree?” I responded hotly. “And in your case, it’s actually a matronizing tone.”
She feigned innocence, but I heard her mutter, “Idiot!”
The natural process of evolution had been improved by human effort, giving rise to trees that could defend themselves by constriction, a fact I learned just too late for it to do me any good.