Tagged: pirate

It Wasn’t The Plan I Thought We Were Going With

  • k-avatardenied having the dumpsters emptied
  • muffled in a dark cloak
  • they fled incontinently
  • step out of the queue
  • felt a fleeting pang of regret

Tune In Next Time Part 47                             Click Here for Earlier Installments

It wasn’t the plan I thought we were going with, but suddenly it was the plan we had.

While Lyudmila kept Jinx Damocles hanging by a thread, I pulled bins down from the shelves, looking for one containing something other than more bins. I ignored Jason’s sibilant protests and searched as quickly as I could.

“Wait! I have it!” Jason hissed. “Don’t wreck the place.”

He waved for me to follow him. I felt a fleeting pang of regret for abandoning Lyudmila, but she had her hands full. Upstairs was a peg-legged man muffled in a dark cloak, and two diminutive people in black bodysuits. “Splinter cell representatives,” Jason lisped. From a cabinet he took a small black book. “Logbook,” he explained.

A ponderous groaning noise came from the basement, startling the lone pirate and his two ninja companions. They ran outside, meaning to steal Lyudmila’s chopper. But when Time and Trouble snarled at them, they fled incontinently across the street. I laughed and shook my head. Taking the book, I said, “I can take it from here. You have to maintain your cover.” Jason nodded.

Two blocks away, people were lined up at a barber shop. I veered to the opposite sidewalk as I saw three men step out of the queue and head my way. Yet another faction had entered the game: the sanitation workers union. Unless their beef was with me, personally. It was possible. They took the blame for the Pensacola Debacle after I denied having the dumpsters emptied behind the stadium.

about stichomancy writing prompts

try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!

Jorgensen Threw A Net Over Me

  • k-avataruses it for a cellphone ad
  • this is not about my ambition
  • it’s a whole lotta whole lot
  • fell into the cotton candy pit
  • company they helped politically

Tune In Next Time Part 29                             Click Here for Earlier Installments

Jorgensen threw a net over me and ordered his crew to drag me below and throw me in the brig. Sliding over the planks on my back, I had to wonder if the alliance was in financial trouble. What other explanation for a buccaneer who takes the skull and bones off his mainsail and instead uses it for a cellphone ad?

Another hint of monetary woes was the crewmen themselves. Their soundless approach was no surprise, but the white face paint was. Ninjas and pirates had powerful unions, but mimes would scab for practically nothing, and, obviously, you never hear them complain about their work conditions. I thought I saw an angle that might lead to my escape.

But the next moment I was flung down an open hatch into the hold. My startled scream turned to a puzzled grunt as I fell into the cotton candy pit. Ever wondered how much cotton candy a frigate can carry? Well, it’s a lot. In fact it’s a whole lotta whole lot. The salt water saturating my clothes and hair dissolved the fuzzy cargo like acid, and I sank through a shaft shaped like a cutout of a man who should have cut his losses long ago.

Aphrodite Hunter peered down on me with her one good eye and the remarkably lifelike glass one. She cackled, then said, “You won’t starve, but your dentist might have some stern words for you at your next checkup! Just wanted you to know, this is not about my ambition to rule the pirate ninja alliance. Your friend John is up to something with Heinrich, something shady with a company they helped politically, which makes you my insurance policy.”

I wanted to tell her she had it all wrong, that holding me wouldn’t give her any leverage over John. But the lid slammed down over the hatch and I was left in sticky darkness.

about stichomancy writing prompts

try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!

The Woman With The Glass Eye

  • by jenthey get angry.
  • a big bag of money
  • portrait of a marriage in trouble
  • his own skillful hands
  • perfectly shameful to take advantage of Mrs Hunter’s good nature

Tune In Next Time Part 28                             Click Here for Earlier Installments

The woman with the glass eye and the bikini clamped her hand onto my shoulder as the ship approached. How could I get out of this? I couldn’t offer her a big bag of money because Tessa had run off with it all. Perhaps I could seduce her. She’d seemed unimpressed by my physique a few moments ago, but it was worth a shot. No matter my failings, I was pretty sure I was more appealing than Jorgensen.

I tried to channel James Bond at his suavest as I wrapped my arm around her waist.

“You’re kidding, right?” she sneered.

Next thing I knew she dragged me into the surf. Her arm around my throat immobilized me, and she swam with me out to meet the ship. Jorgensen himself hauled us aboard with his own skillful hands.

“He tried to make a pass,” the bikini woman said.

“It’s perfectly shameful to take advantage of Mrs Hunter’s good nature,” Jorgensen snarled.

Mrs Hunter? Oh shit. That could only mean my tormentress and kidnapper was the estranged wife of Heinrich Hunter. I’d heard rumors. From day one theirs was the very portrait of a marriage in trouble. Things got so bad it nearly destroyed the pirate ninja alliance. The glass eye really should have tipped me off. It was a souvenir of the Hunters’ tempestuous honeymoon. And now Aphrodite Hunter was keeping company with Captain Jorgensen.

The biggest problem with pirates and ninjas is that they lose all honor when they get angry. This would not end well.

about stichomancy writing prompts

try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!

The Bikini-Clad Woman’s Eyes

  • k-avatarwe now must say goodbye
  • had kept his word
  • large, surgically enhanced breasts
  • stretched across a cartilaginous scaffolding
  • fluffed the pillow

Tune In Next Time Part 27                             Click Here for Earlier Installments

The bikini-clad woman’s eyes forgot me the moment they strayed to more appealing scenery. Mine, meanwhile, forgot to stop staring at her. She didn’t seem to mind, because it seemed she didn’t notice. She cocked her head to one side, her gaze riveted to the horizon far out to sea.

I turned to find out what had her so preoccupied. It was a tall ship, a three-masted frigate. It was too distant to make out the colors it flew, but in light of all else that had happened I knew it could mean only one thing.

“I’m afraid we now must say goodbye to the ocean,” I told the woman in the two-piece. The ship was approaching fast, making me more certain every second that I knew what vessel it was. If Heinrich had kept his word this wouldn’t be happening, or if Jorgensen hadn’t kept his.

She crossed her arms beneath her large, surgically enhanced breasts and raised one eyebrow at me. The skin around her eye was unnaturally thin, and stretched across a cartilaginous scaffolding. The eye itself was glass. “But then I’d miss my ride,” she lilted. “I hope Captain Jorgensen warmed my bunk for me, or at least fluffed the pillow.”

Dammit. As if things weren’t complicated enough, I was about to be shanghaied by the pirate-ninja alliance.

bonus points for using them in order!

about stichomancy writing prompts

try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!

Then There’s The One

  • k-avatarWendy and Peter Pan get engaged
  • endless bodies all in a row
  • It’s not an escort service.
  • come on people, we’re almost there
  • ignorant, psycho dickheads

Then there’s the one where Wendy and Peter Pan get engaged in an argument about how many Lost Boys it would take to reach from Neverland to London if you laid them out, endless bodies all in a row. Very metaphysical and macabre. Not one of the better episodes.

My personal fave is the one where they go to Hook’s lair. Hook has given up piracy and become a pimp, so the ship in the cavern is all done up with red lanterns. It’s not an escort service. There’s nothing classy about it. He makes Wendy a job offer, but jealous Tinkerbell swoops in and takes the position instead. Soon her side business of dealing dust has earned her enough to boot Hook off his own ship and take over.

Only one more season to go, and it’s all stuff I haven’t seen yet. Come on, people, we’re almost there! Our binge will be complete!

Okay, fine, wimp out after only 46 hours. I’ll finish it up by myself. Who needs you ignorant, psycho dickheads anyway!

Wait, they recast Tink? Now Peter’s a cop in Boston? And Wendy’s little cousin is moving in? Man, this show really jumped the crocodile.

bonus points for using them in order

about stichomancy writing prompts

try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!

I Had Thought Myself Alone

by jen

  • alone in a small boat upon the broad Atlantic
  • crouching in frozen fear
  • unfolding the flag of the United Kingdom
  • “You don’t have to eat it.”
  • to emerge from the Caribbean

I had thought myself alone in a small boat upon the broad Atlantic when I first heard the voice coming from belowdecks. Now I huddled in the stern, crouching in frozen fear as an apparition rose through the gangway, my numb fingers unfolding the flag of the United Kingdom in a vain attempt to hide myself.

“You don’t have to eat it.”

That was all it said, over and over, in its waterlogged whisper, the terrible sound burrowing into my brain.

“You don’t have to eat it,” it said again, waving a rotten lime in my terrified face. “But if you don’t, you’ll get scurvy!”

I screamed at this sudden new vocalization for that was the moment I knew I was being haunted by Captain Archibald Bloodygums, the ghastliest sea ghost ever to emerge from the Caribbean.

If I didn’t eat the wretched lime I would incur his wrath and my little yacht would surely sink, and me with it. If I did eat it, I would join his ghastly crew for all eternity.

bonus points for using them in order

about stichomancy writing prompts

try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!

 

The Cops Swarmed

  1. by jenCharacter – Pirate
  2. Setting – A smelly, gray beach
  3. Object – Handful of dirt
  4. Situation – Police search

The cops swarmed all over the beach. It had once been pristine, but was now gray with fingerprint powder, and stank of both sweaty detectives and wet dogs. The K-9 unit was enjoying the outing at least.

Black Kent stroked his beard with his wrist stump. Of course they had taken his hook when they’d placed him under arrest. His mood was blacker than his moniker. When were they going to admit that they had no evidence? As soon as they released him from this blasted squad car, he’d be on his ship and sailing for the southern hemisphere.

A uniformed officer ran up with a handful of dirt. “Sarge, I think I found something!”

about 4 elements writing prompts

handy dandy writing prompt generator