It Takes A Lot of Oomph
the mother of an 18-month-old daughter- propel a converted atomic submarine into space
- Because it’s the latter.
- — what is another word for POOP? —
- daughter receives a valuable present
It takes a lot of oomph to propel a converted atomic submarine into space, as Giselle found out last Tuesday. That morning she was just the mother of an 18-month-old daughter, but by dinnertime she was an admiral of sorts. Her little Elizabeth, or Bitty as she was known, was a source of more than enough oomph to get the job done.
Giselle had been asked to document how the feat was accomplished, but writing memos had never been her strong suit. “The power for liftoff was obtained from a dense deposit of Bitty’s business,” she explained to the patient boatswain. He lifted one eyebrow and asked, “‘Business’? Can’t you be more precise?”
“Well then help me write this!” Giselle implored. “It came from her diaper, for gosh sakes, but I can’t say… I mean there are some words that just don’t belong in an official memo! But my brain’s seized up — what is another word for POOP? — and I can’t think clearly.”
The handsome boatswain smiled warmly. “Zero gravity sometimes affects mental acuity, and so does the stress of parenthood. In your case, you shouldn’t worry. Because it’s the latter. When a beautiful young mother’s daughter receives a valuable present, it can be quite distracting.”
“So you agree with me that Bitty’s too little to command her own vessel?”
“I’m sure you know what’s best. Perhaps we can address that topic in a later paragraph.”
three bogus sailors