Tagged: crime

The Almighty Cornelius MacDermott

  • by jenat or about midnight
  • remembered the area as being that swampy
  • the almighty Cornelius MacDermott
  • the place was an inferno
  • the gumption of a sunflower

The Almighty Cornelius MacDermott, President for Life of the Mid-Atlantic chapter of the Sunflower Society, made his way through the mire under cover of darkness. He was to meet his blackmailer at or about midnight in the abandoned sawmill. He hoped he would be on time. He hadn’t remembered the area as being that swampy, and the going was slow.

Once he located the old mill, the Almighty Cornelius MacDermott scouted the surrounding area until he spotted a mud-splattered ATV parked behind a gorse bush. His blackmailer was already here. Good.

The Almighty Cornelius MacDermott crept up and peered between some loose boards on the mill, confirming that his blackmailer was inside. Then he quickly spread the accelerant and lit the match.

In no time, the place was an inferno. The Almighty Cornelius MacDermott waited patiently outside for the screaming to start, and then to stop, ensuring that his blackmailer did not escape.

Let no man say that the Almighty Cornelius MacDermott lacked the gumption of a Sunflower Soldier, he thought as he began the long slog back to his car.

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No Matter What You May Be Thinking

  • eby jenffluvia on his desk
  • robes of office
  • dark bulk
  • “Mom! Mom!” he cried
  • everyone is offering him money
  • a story about prostitution
  • a late snack
  • waverings and backslidings

No matter what you may be thinking, this is not a story about prostitution, full of waverings and backslidings of the moral variety, but ultimately ending with redemption for the hooker with the heart of gold. This is a different sort of story altogether – although it is about prostitution. It is less like a smorgasbord of character development, deep, timeless themes, and witty prose, and more like a late snack of pure porn.

The judge stands in the shadowy corner of his chambers, his robes of office rendering him a mere dark bulk to Effluvia’s eyes. She knows everyone is offering him money to rule in their favor, but Effluvia doesn’t have much money. So she is offering him her body.

He stands in the corner, staring at the reclining Effluvia on his desk, nude and legs akimbo.

“Mom! Mom!” he cried, suddenly recognizing her.

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The Final Ten Minutes

  • k-avatarsmelled like urine and something else
  • promised to be an energizing climax
  • Not bad for a peeping tom.
  • entering its treacherous swamps
  • punched the yellow button
  • Hot, in fact

The final ten minutes of the DVD promised to be an energizing climax, as the rugged and rogueish hero punched the yellow button to deploy his vehicle’s pontoons and give chase through the river delta, entering its treacherous swamps at full speed.

But Julia pressed the yellow button on her remote, pausing the action hero to study the reflection on the screen. A man stood outside her open window.

“Climb on in,” she said, and he looked around like maybe she’d intended the invitation for some other voyeur. Then he clambered over the sill and stood directly behind Julia’s chair. He smelled like urine and something else. Not bad for a peeping tom.

Julia turned to look at him directly. Not bad at all. Hot, in fact.

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Dear Diary

  • by jena more than brotherly kiss
  • chewed my lips nervously
  • the real moneymaker
  • Let’s say “funny”
  • if it really is shiny
  • gives me that slimy smile of his
  • I had tripped over a face

Dear Diary,

I love it when Devlin gets an idea and gives me that slimy smile of his. He’s the real moneymaker in the family and his ideas invariably lead to more riches. Mine are less reliable, as we both know. Remember the time I had that grave-robbing scheme that nearly got both my darling brother and myself buried alive, because I had tripped over a face in the crypt and knocked over the support column? I’m not sure how to refer to that. Let’s say “funny” instead of stupid.

This morning Devlin gave me a more than brotherly kiss, then lingered and chewed my lips nervously. He’s worried about his aura again, and what he’ll do if it really is shiny yellow like the Old Gypsy Woman says.

But I’m not worried. Devlin’s aura is still a black hole.

Love, Minerva

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Gertrude Lifted Up the Lid of the Coffin

  • by jencarried them off on a ship to Denmark
  • escape from one calamity
  • lifted up the lid of the coffin
  • and rubbed it
  • having dosed him with liquor

Gertrude lifted up the lid of the coffin and found it empty, save the white satin pillow. She sighed. “They were at least able to escape from one calamity,” she said to Rupert.

Rupert smiled grimly. “While I am relieved to know that Tristan and Stephen weren’t buried alive, I become increasingly concerned that some nefarious force has carried them off on a ship to Denmark where it will be exceedingly difficult for us to find and rescue them.”

Gertrude patted Rupert on the shoulder. She was not surprised that his mood was maudlin, having dosed him with liquor herself to fortify his courage.

Rupert dropped his aching, gin-soaked head into his hands and rubbed it.

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It Wasn’t Long Before Bernard Fell Under Suspicion

  • by jenmass
  • punishments
  • suspicion

It wasn’t long before Bernard fell under suspicion. He attended mass with Father Mulcahey on the Sunday in question. He had a criminal past. His boots were found in the garbage can, caked with mud.

Bernard maintained his innocence, claiming the Father was just a good friend from way back. And as for his record, well he’d taken his punishments, paid his fees!

He couldn’t explain the boots though, and was quickly lynched by the angry mob.

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Pool Table

k-avatarThis week’s prompts involved comparing a person to an inanimate object, creating a metaphor and then extending it.

Kent’s object: Pool Table

Jerry had the same low center of gravity as the tables at the pool hall where he kept his “office,” and like them he usually had an 8-ball in one of his pockets. Unlike those tables, Jerry was on the level.

Granted, he was a loan shark (not a pool shark) and there were dozens of local legends about what that 8-ball was for. But he always stuck to the original terms of a deal, and never hurt people who didn’t have it coming.

He also upheld a sort of personal code against talking about his clients, understandably enough. But two underage hustlers had been dragged out of the river in the past week, both known regulars at Jerry’s establishment, and I had to know if they were also his personal customers.

Because if they were, that would put Jerry behind the 8-ball this time.

Clyde Stalked

  1. Character – photojournalist
  2. Setting – Niagara Falls
  3. Object – lunar rock
  4. Situation – first time shoplifting

Clyde stalked into Ripka’s Take It or Leave It, just too distant to really hear the falls (although you could still feel it) and therefor not prime tourist-trap real estate (though still expensive). He glanced around, failing to note the young lady with the sophisticated camera chatting up the proprietor. His dutiful ritual of theatrical skulking discharged, Clyde sidled over to a row of trinket bins. He pocketed a keychain with a tiny plastic barrel fob, complete with the grinning head protruding from one end. Next he pilfered a handful of random gray stones, vaguely pumicey and, for no rational reason, billed as “lunar.” He smiled wanly as the young woman focused the camera on him. As the shop owner stepped to block his exit, the photographer said, “You’re new at this, aren’t you?”

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“Does He Expect Us”

by jenIn this special holiday edition, the stichomancy prompt phrases were all taken from Christmas carols. Jen went in a different direction with it, though. Happy holidays!

  • you can do the job when you’re in town
  • me, I want a hula hoop
  • with a broomstick in his hand
  • dressed up like Eskimos
  • later on we’ll conspire
  • down through the chimney

“Does he expect us to go down through the chimney?” I asked, incredulous. “That place is impregnable. There’s a guard at every door, and I don’t mean the kind with a broomstick in his hand. I mean the kind with guns.”

“Boss says ‘you can do the job when you’re in town,'” replied my partner in crime. “Like it’s easy to assassinate traitors in broad daylight. The man hasn’t been out in the field in at least a decade. His expectations are unreasonable.”

I downed another shot before replying. “When he was on active duty, the Russians all dressed up like Eskimos. Made ’em easy to spot. Let’s just do this damn job. Later on we’ll conspire about a coup.”

The bartender approached. “Another round?”

My partner perused the drinks menu, then said, “Me, I want a hula hoop.”

“Make it two.”

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As His Rage Subsided

  1. Character – the Grim Reaper
  2. Setting – pool hall
  3. Object – bull whip
  4. Situation – last date

As his rage subsided and the flashing red haze cleared from his vision, Tony saw Carmen.

She was sprawled across one of the tables, seeming to study the 8-ball with unblinking eyes. A braided leather cord was cinched tight around her throat, its length trailing over the side of the table to the stout handle Tony grasped.

He could remember a fight, his stupid jealousy. Carmen wasn’t moving.

A dark figure drifted in through a solid wall. He was cloaked and carried a scythe. He drifted over to Carmen, and a translucent copy of her took his hand and sat up.

“It’s like I tried to explain,” she said as she stroked the Reaper’s cheek, “I’m going with somebody else now.”

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