Tagged: creature

Turkish Delight Worried The Bullwhip

  1. by jenCharacter – porn star named Turkish Delight
  2. Setting – Loch Ness
  3. Object – bullwhip
  4. Situation – midlife crisis

Turkish Delight worried the bullwhip in her leather-gloved hands. Where on earth was the director? This was going to be her big break, the movie that showcased her acting skills along with her enormous breasts and insatiable appetite for kinky sex. Desmond had assured her it would be tastefully done, but now no one could find him.

Her costars tried to convince her that the cameraman could be relied on to bring the vision to fruition, but Del just didn’t trust him the way she trusted Desmond.

They had flown all the way to Scotland to film the special scenes with Nessie yesterday. It had been freezing, absolutely freezing, but Del had lived up to her end of the deal. Last night Desmond just kept staring at her. He couldn’t even get it up.

He must be having a midlife crisis, Del decided.

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“There You Are”

  1. Character – tooth fairy
  2. Setting – gazebo
  3. Object – bagpipes
  4. Situation – suicidal tendencies

“There you are. Why’d you run off?”

“I can’t go on. You don’t understand.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I have a bottle of nightshade. Go away.”

“You can’t mean to –”

“Go! You sellout! What do you know?”

Lucky bit back his reply. The cereal contract made some of the traditionalists, like Toothy, look down on him. Sharp words would only worsen this situation.

“Maybe you just need a vacation. A couple of us could stand in for you for a bit.”

“Just go away. Leave my dignity.” The Tooth Fairy stood dramatically in the gazebo. But Lucky knew she was serious.

While they’d argued, a dozed kilted men had lined up in the park and were now filling their bagpipes.

Toothy eyed her bottle. “No more teeth.”

The pipers began Amazing Grace.

Great, thought Lucky, that’ll help.

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Xyblorgyz Peered At His Ticket

  1. by jenCharacter – alien
  2. Setting – dry dock
  3. Object – one-way plane ticket
  4. Situation – obscene phone call

Xyblorgyz peered at his ticket. Murmansk. One way. It was the closest he could get to Tunguska. He hoped he wouldn’t miss his train connection. The shuttle to the mother-ship wouldn’t wait for stragglers.

But where was Niplodiuma? She should have been here by now.

Xyblorgyz’s digits fumbled with the tiny buttons as he tried to reach her on her Earthling cellphone.

“Hello?” said the female voice that answered.

“Plody, it’s me. Where are you?” he said in their native Centroplaxis tongue.

“Oh gross!” the female voice said. “You obscene phone callers need to get lives!”

That definitely wasn’t Plody. Xyblorgyz looked around at his fellow passengers. They were all brawny, sweaty, and wearing work gloves. How odd. His phone rang and Xyblorgyz answered it.

“Blorgy! Where are you?” It was Plody. “They’ve begun boarding!”

Xyblorgyz looked around.

“Not where I am.”

“Where are you?” She sounded frantic.

Xyblorgyz checked his translator. “Dry dock.”

“Blorgy! I told you to get that thing fixed! A dry dock is not the same as an airport!”

Xyblorgyz looked around in shocked horror.

“Oh, frazglark!”

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Lady Emily Walked Her Horse

  • by jenthey would be eating lunch
  • if they contain a fish tooth
  • felt slick and slippery
  • looked like an awkward-legged deer
  • walked her horse as slow as you please
  • the hideous creature roaming the woods

Lady Emily walked her horse as slow as you please on the path through the forest. Everyone at the manor house would be waiting for her. If not for her absence they would be eating lunch. But a lady never hurries.

Of course Lady Emily had heard the rumors of the hideous creature roaming the woods, but had paid them no heed. Why should she listen to the ramblings of peasants? As if they contain a fish tooth of wisdom!

Movement in the trees off to her left caught Lady Emily’s attention. It looked like an awkward-legged deer until it snarled and pounced.

The reins suddenly felt slick and slippery in Lady Emily’s grip as her mount whinnied in fright, and bolted.

Quick as you please, Lady Emily found herself unseated. She thumped gracelessly to the ground and turned to face the Beast.

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Carlton Rode with Me

  • kissed my hand and ran away
  • Whom will it kill?
  • flung the elevator door wide
  • you breathe carbon monoxide from your lungs
  • the customers murmured
  • reptilian latex sheath

Carlton rode with me to the nineteenth, flung the elevator door wide, kissed my hand and ran away. Did he know something? Should I not get off on the twentieth as I’d planned?

By that point in my contemplations the car had gone up another floor and the door softly opened on its own. With a shrug, I stepped off into the corridor.

“You breathe carbon monoxide from your lungs. Whom will it kill?” I mused aloud. “Are you up here?”

No answer.

A nearby door let into a bookstore. The alien was there, holding a feng-shui guide in one paw. The appendage was covered in a reptilian latex sheath like the rest of the creature.

The customers murmured.

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