insecure escapist“The aesthetic accomplished by the artist is a certain foundation of misery seen through the eyes of an insecure escapist,” Desmond wrote, “but why this piece is called ‘Witches Who Steal Penises‘ is beyond me.”
bonus points for using them all in one sentence
an army of sweating mulesThe condition of the sheets suggested that the bed had been the scene of some great undertaking by an army of sweating mules. But the condition of Rodrigo’s attire made it clear that, if he’d had any part in those labors, he was now above such menial things and destined for a corner office. His lime-green corduroy trousers were counterpointed by a plasticine blazer in tones of orange and gold, supple-looking, with iridescent lapels. (It was surely a very stylish corner office.)
Three sharp knocks at the door. Rodrigo crossed the suite and opened the door to Faye-Wren, his confidante, his bookie, and his hired wrench. Her pillbox sat askew to the right, meaning her latest assignment had been completed successfully. The twinkle in her almond eyes meant she’d heard about Rodrigo’s exploits of the previous night. “Was she very flexible and fastidious?” Faye-Wren asked impertinently, “like a cat?”
Rodrigo responded with a lazy-eyed smile. His carnal escapades had centered on someone quite catlike, but not feminine in the least. By paying a month’s rent in advance, he got first pick of the diversions on offer at the Trump Bordello.
It was then that Faye-Wren doffed her hat, and Rodrigo saw that the gesture left her wearing only yachtsman’s loafers and underpants.
bonus points for using them in order!
group prayerGladiola sincerely hoped that the large crowd would respect the lavish ceremonialism she had striven for when arranging the group prayer, and that it wouldn’t degenerate into one of the boorish affairs where informality prevails and the men feel compelled to expose their genitals.
bonus points for using them all in one sentence!
“Hasn’t been really wrung out, yet!”The tough thing about communing with the dead is that they can’t make any sound and they’re just awful at charades.
“Hasn’t really been wrung out, yet!” he pantomimed, or something along those lines… His flailing arms sent swirling eddy currents through the aether. I can handle an ugly ghost, but this was just one stumbling organism trying to make a point.
Finally I grasped his message, something about how he died.
It was on Kent’s orders.
bonus points for using them in order!
the Danish East Asia CompanyThe latest album from my favorite band, The Danish East Asia Company, emitted a ghostly hiss as it started to play through my headphones. The hiss built into a lush, haunting melody and the lyrics told a story of suicides and bankruptcies as the rain poured down in my ears. The next track was angrier, with Mussolini making speeches in Italian in the samples they had chosen to construct the complex beat.
bonus points for using them in order!
his own club lashed outThe Sheep/Goat Mutual Aid Society printed a scathing pamphlet about Harvey, and his own club lashed out with a retort in the form of a full-page ad that Sunday. All was politics as usual, until either a Sheep or a Goat used a blowgun to take Harvey out of the picture.
Harvey lay there, and the street sneezed under him. The poison of the dart twisted the world into rippling fever-dreams, and he could only lay still and wonder if he would survive.
So much warm salty water in my mouth, Harvey thought. He couldn’t breathe. But a cat trotted up to him, and purred in his ear, and crouched while she drank it.
Having saved his life, she was a limp doll across his chest.
bonus points for using them in order!
swooning to the floor of the hospitalFor the first time in my life I was committing a sin, and I decided that I wanted to do it memorably, and commit the most fantastically gilded and filagreed sin in history, a sin that would leave battle-hardered surgeons mute and ingloriously swooning to the floor of the hospital where they would breathe deeply of the stifling fumes from the damp earth and wonderingly ask one another under what circumstances could or would a number of men so dragged a corpse as artfully as I, metaphorically speaking.
bonus points for using them all in one sentence!
with their burning eyes and saliva-spun lipsBehind half-closed lids, the Actor-Robot’s overwhelming hate for the Director-Robot and the Wardrobe-Robot, with their burning eyes and saliva-spun lips, seethed and roiled like the caustic wit that would spring glibly from his tongue, and emerged once through his nose, when he took the stage to mock the President-Robot who, through neglectful hygiene, wound up infecting several people with degenerative robotism.
Bonus points for using them all in one sentence!
In this special holiday edition, the stichomancy prompt phrases were all taken from Christmas carols. Jen and Kent both tackled the same set, with markedly different results. Whose do you prefer?
Kent’s take:
“I forgot these things were so lively and quick,” Herb remarked, drawing a bead on one of the creatures dashing through the snow in the clearing.
“And I forgot they bite! Ow!” exclaimed Remmy as he began to dance around holding one boot up out of the deep drifts, a creature dangling from the toe.
Herb chuckled, prompting Remmy to ask him with some vehemence just what was so damn funny.
“Oh, nothing. Just, tis the season to be jolly, I suppose,” drawled Herb in reply.
Remmy shook the xenopod loose and stomped it, muttering about better times before the invasion. “I’ve had enough for one day. Let’s go get drunk at the Nine Ladies Dancing. I’ll buy.”
“Okay,” Herb said. “I’d like to see that sweet little barmaid again anyway.” Herb’s opinions on the invasion were slightly more mixed. “When we finally kiss goodnight, I’ll find out what those suckers on her tongue feel like.”
bonus points for using them in order!
Jen’s take:
My blind date with Bertram started out well enough. I found him to be so lively and quick-witted that I was able to overlook his unfortunate ears. I thought him quite galant when he offered to pay for dinner, but halfway through the meal he began to dance around in his seat like he had to pee. Then he grumbled at our waiter, “It’s winter, dude! Tis the season to be jolly well sozzled so you don’t notice the cold! Bring me a yard of Schnapps! And one for the lady.”
He finished his shots in record time, and most of mine, all the while telling the tale of a bachelor party he’d recently attended where there were no fewer than nine ladies dancing naked. I was unimpressed.
Bertram’s fate was sealed when he said to me, “Hey babe, when we finally kiss goodnight, I’m going to slip you the tongue.”
Horrified, I left him at the table and went dashing through the snow and wind all the way to the subway station so he couldn’t follow me home.
at or about midnightThe Almighty Cornelius MacDermott, President for Life of the Mid-Atlantic chapter of the Sunflower Society, made his way through the mire under cover of darkness. He was to meet his blackmailer at or about midnight in the abandoned sawmill. He hoped he would be on time. He hadn’t remembered the area as being that swampy, and the going was slow.
Once he located the old mill, the Almighty Cornelius MacDermott scouted the surrounding area until he spotted a mud-splattered ATV parked behind a gorse bush. His blackmailer was already here. Good.
The Almighty Cornelius MacDermott crept up and peered between some loose boards on the mill, confirming that his blackmailer was inside. Then he quickly spread the accelerant and lit the match.
In no time, the place was an inferno. The Almighty Cornelius MacDermott waited patiently outside for the screaming to start, and then to stop, ensuring that his blackmailer did not escape.
Let no man say that the Almighty Cornelius MacDermott lacked the gumption of a Sunflower Soldier, he thought as he began the long slog back to his car.
about stichomancy writing prompts
try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!
bonus points for using the prompts in order!