Tagged: animal

The Sheep/Goat Mutual Aid Society

  • k-avatarhis own club lashed out
  • the street sneezed
  • warm salty water in my mouth
  • and crouched while she drank it
  • she was a limp doll

The Sheep/Goat Mutual Aid Society printed a scathing pamphlet about Harvey, and his own club lashed out with a retort in the form of a full-page ad that Sunday. All was politics as usual, until either a Sheep or a Goat used a blowgun to take Harvey out of the picture.

Harvey lay there, and the street sneezed under him. The poison of the dart twisted the world into rippling fever-dreams, and he could only lay still and wonder if he would survive.

So much warm salty water in my mouth, Harvey thought. He couldn’t breathe. But a cat trotted up to him, and purred in his ear, and crouched while she drank it.

Having saved his life, she was a limp doll across his chest.

 

bonus points for using them in order!

about stichomancy writing prompts

try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!

The Latest Fad Religion

  • by jenthe most fabulous unheard-of things
  • I love my gold!
  • “Remote control, perhaps?”
  • discontinuous orthodragonality
  • some dank, phosphorescent cocoon
  • stirred the subatomic dough

The latest fad religion, Discontinuous Orthodragonality, is quickly replacing Kabbalah among the Hollywood elite. Orthodragonality priests remind the rich and famous that dragons are known for hoarding treasure, and preach that greed is desirable. They encourage Orthodragonality neophytes to become comfortable proclaiming, “I love my gold!”

Their sermons recount tales of the most fabulous unheard-of things, like the ancient silver dragon who sat in some dank, phosphorescent cocoon and stirred the subatomic dough for one week until the world was created.

At the end of the services, the believers rise together to sing a hymn, such as the all-time favorite about the mystery of how the dragons control the universe, entitled “Remote Control, Perhaps?”

about stichomancy writing prompts

try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!

Block-and-Tackle Bill Earned His Nickname

  • by jena four inch green lizard
  • a human-style bed
  • some cook throwing a tantrum
  • aged pile of feces
  • block-and-tackle Bill

Block-and-Tackle Bill earned his nickname on the high school football field. Now, decades of steroid abuse had left him unable to enjoy sexual congress in a human-style bed without the use of a very large block-and-tackle. The irony was, indeed, lost on Block-and-Tackle Bill.

Block-and-Tackle Bill slumped in his leather recliner watching some cook throwing a tantrum on TV. He felt like an aged pile of feces, but in less poetic terms. The only thing that made him smile these days, since his block-and-tackle contraption broke, was Esmerelda, a four inch green lizard who had taken up residence on Bill’s patio. Her skin secreted a potent painkiller and Bill would lick her whenever he could catch her.

about stichomancy writing prompts

try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!

“Really, Winifred”

  • k-avatarfrom your clogged and sputtery pen
  • “It’s a farmer’s job.”
  • The goat raised her head
  • Like kittens about to ignominiously drowned
  • Russia, without a doubt
  • “Really, Winifred,”
  • Agriculture is a broad field
  • carefully maneuvered herself between Angel and Will

“Really, Winifred,” Walter sighed. “It’s a farmer’s job.”

Winifred smirked. “It’s like you always say, though. Agriculture is a broad field. Why shouldn’t a broad stand out in it?”

The goat raised her head, then carefully maneuvered herself between Angel and Will, the pair of mastiffs who kept order in the chickenyard. Walter scratched his chin, looking from the goat to his wife and back. “Okay,” he finally agreed.

Glee made Winifred’s eyes into tiny, happy animals. Like kittens about to be ignominiously drowned. Walter knew she would soon beg him to take over, but meanwhile she would learn another side of the business. Where had she picked up such curiosity? Russia, without a doubt.

Maybe the mail-order marriage hadn’t been such a good idea. The magazine ad had been too irresistible — “A beauty who will keep you warm, for just a few words from your clogged and sputtery pen.”

about stichomancy writing prompts

try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!

“You Look Sad”

  • by jenpush food at me
  • sad sunny sky
  • I’d grown horns
  • got dizzy, bent over, and waited
  • watered my plant with 7-Up
  • making your “babies”

“You look sad, Sunny Sky,” Stormy Cloud remarked.

“Maybe I wouldn’t if you didn’t alway push food at me like I’d grown horns,” Sunny snapped.

“Ever since you watered my plant with 7-Up…” Stormy trailed off.

“Oh! You mean the night you gave me the drugs and I got dizzy, bent over, and waited for you to fuck me?”

“Don’t say that in front of the babies!” Stormy cried.

“That’s another thing I’m sick of! You making your ‘babies’ the center of everything! They’re not babies, Stormy! They’re ferrets!”

about stichomancy writing prompts

try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!

Extradimensional Infiltration Won’t Affect Your Cerebral Output

  • k-avatarunless you are using vibrations for bones
  • your cerebral output
  • an irascible, tyrannical old coot!
  • I flipped my cape over him
  • — orbs as you call them —
  • gently adjusted the glasses
  • he gave a muffled buzz
  • as thick as a parrot’s
  • “I’ll never leave you, baby.”

Extradimensional infiltration won’t affect your cerebral output or the function of your eyes — orbs as you call them — unless you are using vibrations for bones or possess feathers as thick as a parrot’s. But that is assuming that all the usual guild-approved apparatus is present. I gently adjusted the glasses which protected my sight-orbs and fluffed my downy feathers. Jones had landed in trouble, not surprising since he is, in fact, a parrot, besides being an irascible, tyrannical old coot! He sat frozen on his perch while I and the other owls prepared for the mission to retrieve his marbles from the cosmic interstices. Occasionally he gave a muffled buzz, especially after I flipped my cape over him. His simple but adoring young — inappropriately young — wife, a very pretty flamingo, said, “I’ll never leave you, baby.” Jones buzzed again, and leaned forward precariously. There was no time to lose.

about stichomancy writing prompts

try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!

Roger Joined the Crowd

  • by jena ceremony of solemnity and grandeur
  • caught her round the waist
  • fairly jigging with frustration
  • governmental-seeming buildings
  • device in the leather bindings

Roger joined the crowd approaching the governmental-seeming buildings to see what all the fuss was about. They were fairly jigging with frustration for the gates to open. Roger came to the slow understanding that the buildings were not governmental, but religious, but by then it was too late and he could not escape the throng’s gravity. He was swept inside on a surge of humanity and grudgingly took up a position near the middle.

Like all religious rites, Roger expected this to be a ceremony of solemnity and grandeur and was prepared to be very bored. His attitude changed when the curtains were drawn back, exposing a large aquarium which housed an enormous blue octopus. A young woman wearing a leafy headdress and a pink bikini was lowered over the tank and began to sing. Apparently there was a microphonic device in the leather bindings suspending her, because Roger could hear her quite well. Her voice was not very good.

Just then, the octopus reached one long cerulean tentacle out of the water and caught her round the waist.

Her amplified screams rang through the building, and her safety tether snapped.

Roger looked away as her leafy headdress slipped beneath the waves.

about stichomancy writing prompts

try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!

Heinrich Floats Face-Down

  • k-avatarnibbled by snails
  • you selfish bitch
  • Germany’s not the holy land
  • chin, belly and balls are jutting promontories
  • grey stucco urinal
  • always so malignant

Heinrich floats face-down in the vast aquarium; his chin, belly and balls are jutting promontories nibbled by snails that have slithered up the sides of the tank. His buttocks and snorkel protrude above the surface; they bulge forth into the air and give landing space to multicolored insect life.

In Heinrich’s memory, his mother’s voice assaults him. “Germany’s not the holy land,” she says icily. Well, neither is Queens, you selfish bitch.

Her words were always so malignant, like the smell of the grey stucco urinal in the back room of the “pet store” where Heinrich found solace among his invertebrate friends, and their nibbling.

about stichomancy writing prompts

try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!

I’ll Never Forget My Day in Court

  • k-avatarmy leg mashed into the sheep dog
  • pat her everywhere, including under her stomach
  • “You’ll be playing an elderly butler.”
  • get yourself another lawyer
  • remarkable reproduction of a Ubangi blowgun
  • equally terrible but for an entirely different reason
  • using Marian’s breast as a springboard

I’ll never forget my day in court, one of the most unpleasant in my life. It all started when my leg mashed into the sheep dog after using Marian’s breast as a springboard, and the EMT told me to pat her everywhere, including under her stomach, and I thought he meant Marian, whom I’d just met and didn’t really get along with, and when I explained all this from the witness stand my attorney said, “Get yourself another lawyer.”

Equally terrible but for an entirely different reason was my first theatre audition, at age nine. The director said, “You’ll be playing an elderly butler,” and handed another actor a remarkable reproduction of a Ubangi blowgun. Then he said something vague about the butler not doing it this time, and next thing I knew there was a sharp sting in my buttock and the room went all spinny.

about stichomancy writing prompts

try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!

After My Ankle Surgery

  • by jennever pick up a stray kitten
  • don’t strain yourself
  • We should get married more often
  • a cuddlesome wench on each side
  • He pointed at my foot
  • I wiggled like a puppy

After my ankle surgery, my mother just wouldn’t shut up with the “helpful” advice. “Don’t strain yourself,” she insisted. “You don’t want to open the stitches back up.”

“Sure, Ma,” I repeated into the phone, but she wasn’t happy until I promised to never pick up a stray kitten again. I couldn’t really blame her for worrying. The last kitten had hidden beneath the sofa and swiped her talons right through my achilles tendon, thus necessitating the surgery.

My new husband came into the room, followed by the doctor with a cuddlesome wench on each side. Nurses, I assumed.

The doctor sat on the edge of my bed. He pointed at my foot. “Feeling better now?” he asked, and then tickled the sole. I wiggled like a puppy shaking itself dry.

“Good,” said the doctor, and he left, taking the cuddlesome wenches with him.

“I’m sorry we have to spend our honeymoon in the hospital,” I said to my husband.

“We should get married more often,” he laughed.

about stichomancy writing prompts

try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!