Svetlana Held Up a Spiked Leather Dog Collar
he’s like milk to you- as if someone was pursuing him
- Jenkins rolled on him
- on the hallway carpet right in front of them
- (an up-and-down bump and grind)
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Svetlana held up a spiked leather dog collar and matching codpiece. I shrugged. At least it was less embarrassing than my current Cupid getup.
“Give it a rest, Svetlana,” Heinrich growled. “I know he’s like milk to you, rich and creamy and better with chocolate, but we’re on a mission. He needs to be able to sneak in and out undetected.”
“He needs to be able to move as if someone was pursuing him, because someone probably will be, and this gives him optimal range of motion,” Svetlana countered.
I uncoiled myself from Heinrich’s harness and stood stretching my limbs while the two of them bickered over the appropriateness of the bondage getup. From the corner of my eye I caught a flicker of movement in the ridiculous pink lacy wallpaper. Suspecting an ineptly camouflaged ninja, I froze.
Ninja camouflage, when it’s not at its peak, is kind of like those Magic Eye puzzles. I relaxed my eyes and, sure enough, could pick out the silhouette of a shadow warrior. His attention was on Heinrich, and I saw no reason to intervene. As he poised to leap, a sudden commotion erupted from a nearby doorway and who should tumble into the corridor but Jenkins!
I hadn’t seen Jenkins in years, but she was just as I remembered her, dark-skinned, dark-eyed, and deadly. The ninja tried to pounce on the still-arguing Heinrich and Svetlana, but Jenkins rolled on him on the the hallway carpet right in front of them.
“That was supposed to be Step 6!” cried Svetlana. “You’ve short-circuited everything, Jenkins, and now we won’t get to see him,” she jerked her thumb at me, “in this.” She held the codpiece aloft.
Jenkins got the ninja in a leg lock and said. “He’ll wear it if he knows what’s good for him.”
And so, under the watchful eyes of Svetlana, Jenkins, Heinrich, and the semi-conscious ninja, I stripped out of my shorty toga and feathery wings, and struggled into the leather gear. It was tight and uncomfortable, and I had to resort to some very awkward moves (an up-and-down bump and grind) to get it on.
bonus points for using them in order