“Summon My Zeppelin”
going utterly numb- light fixtures had long ago been stolen
- with such instructors
- with just ten minutes and a chair
- kill him and eat him
Tune in next time part 431 Click Here for Earlier Installments
“Summon my zeppelin,” I ordered.
“I’m sorry to say that there’s a blizzard,” said YoYo, not sounding sorry at all. “Your zeppelin is grounded. You will be alerted immediately when it is safe to take to the skies. In the meantime, these jeans are so tight my bottom is going utterly numb. Surely you’d like to help me remove them.”
“Perhaps some other time.” I groped about in the dimness. “Dammit, where’s the light switch?”
“It’s right here,” said YoYo. “But it won’t do you any good.” She explained that the light fixtures had long ago been stolen by marauding Harmonians. “Now about these jeans.”
“If I’m to act as Harry’s lawyer, I need to brush up on Contrarian Law.”
YoYo placed my hands upon her zipper. “I’ve heard that you were educated at The Hopscotch Academy. With such instructors as they have there I’m sure you know more about Contrarian Law than most Contrarian lawyers.”
“There’s no way that’s possible. All things Contrarian are ridiculously complicated.” I looked sternly at her. “What game are you playing, Yolanda?”
“I will show you, with just ten minutes and a chair, and maybe a little bit of whipped cream.”
The thought of YoYo (or myself) covered in whipped cream was too much, and I gave in. The snow was too heavy for my zeppelin to return me to my wife, it was too dark to study for my upcoming legal duties, I had already had sex with YoYo and survived, so no matter what her plan was I felt pretty safe. Plus if she was naked it would be easy to search her for hidden weapons.
“Just once more,” I said, stripping her tight jeans off. “After all, what’s the worst that can happen?”
“If Harry is found guilty his accusers are allowed to kill him and eat him,” YoYo purred, pushing me back onto my feather mattress and startling the fox.
I guess it’s a good thing I never liked Harry very much anyway.
bonus points for using them in order