“Remember This Place Is Guarded By Pirates”
and while they smell terrible- They want very much to be pregnant
- the permanence that a tattoo offers
- determines if the story told will be epic or horrific
- shining jewel in the crown
Tune in next time part 580 Click Here for Earlier Installments
“Remember this place is guarded by pirates,” I wanted to say, but the bejeweled false teeth prevented it. I tried pantomime, but Tessa didn’t seem to understand. She descended the rope ladder and I had little choice but to follow. Brandita and the Baron remained unconscious on the living room floor.
Stepping outside, we immediately found ourselves confronted by two elderly but heavily armed pirate wenches. The thing about these guards is that they’ve been seasoned by years in the salt wind, and while they smell terrible they are deadly with a blade. They are also not too bright, and Tessa easily talked us past them.
“They want very much to be pregnant,” Tessa explained to me as she started up Brandita’s motorbike and I climbed into the bathtub-sidecar. Jeff was nowhere to be seen. This puzzled me, as I thought his haunting of the tub carried the permanence that a tattoo offers.
Now that we were away from the guards, I spat out the sparkly chompers so I could speak. “We’re going to have quite a story to tell when we get back to civilization,” I said. She revved the engine. “You do know how to drive this thing, right?” I asked, knowing that her answer would be the sort of thing that determines if the story told will be epic or horrific.
Her answer was to rocket us onto the precarious road at such alarming speed that I almost dropped the diamond-encrusted dentures. Sun glinted off a particularly impressive stone, the shining jewel in the crown of teeth.
bonus points for using them in order