“Speaking of Prince Edward”

  • by jenI lost a lot of sleep
  • didn’t tell him to fire his pulse-gun
  • the young lady’s whereabouts
  • The result is awesomeness.
  • Speaking of Prince Edward

Tune in next time part 94                             Click Here for Earlier Installments

“Speaking of Prince Edward,” I said, in reference to Fleur’s grandfather, and trying to hide my dismay at the thought of a transoceanic voyage at this particular moment, “wouldn’t he want you to stay out of Contraria? I believe it was he who said, ‘When a Contrarian lass weds a contrarian lad and they mingle their stock, they should do so on neutral ground. The result is awesomeness.‘”

Fleur quirked her eyebrow. “You certainly have been studying, I’ll give you that. But I know you aren’t really concerned about the customs of my tribe.” She smiled coldly. “You are concerned only for Tessa. And even now, here in our marriage tent, naked with me, you are wondering about the young lady’s whereabouts. You and I may not care for each other over much, but we are married and it is imperative that I get knocked up this year. You’re coming to Contraria with me.”

She snapped her slender fingers and a hulking brute stepped into the tent with us.

“This is Viktor,” Fleur said. “I didn’t tell him to fire his pulse-gun if you try to escape, but I didn’t tell him not to either.”

I lost a lot of sleep over that comment, or I would have if Fleur and her relations ever gave me a moment’s peace. In between rounds of copulation and Contrarian Q&A, Fleur and I and all of our belongings were packed onto her father’s waiting zeppelin and we began the long flight to Contraria, a region I had never visited.

bonus points for using them in reverse order

about stichomancy writing prompts

try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!

The Harshest Critic, The Biggest Fan

r-avatarSome pretty smart people, including Harlan Ellison and JK Rowling, recommend that authors write to please themselves. We embrace this advice and encourage you to do likewise. Trying to predict the market is a recipe for frustration, as is trying to imitate the style that you imagine other people want from you.

In practice, this is a bit more complicated when there are two of you. We pointed out way back in the Skellyverse’s earliest posts that a writing partner has to be someone whose tastes and interest align with yours, because the first thing you’ll have to agree on is what to write.

If you can do that, next comes agreeing on how to write it. Even if you both love science fiction with strong female characters, you’re still working in a huge space. That’s a good thing, because you have lots of room to work. But it does present the possibility that you and your partner might get separated.

If you can collaborate within a framework, so you know you’re both writing the same book, then you can fly in loose formation. If you don’t have a good feel for the voice, and you have to check in with each other over every sentence, then you’re not getting the value out of your collaboration.

Working with a partner, you have to write to please each other.

I Explained My Proposition Bluntly

  • by KentSo a Spanish lady one time
  • only a hunter of the eider duck
  • plenty of myopic, gung-ho investors
  • out with friends
  • was a very funny man

Tune in next time part 93                             Click Here for Earlier Installments

I explained my proposition bluntly, knowing Fleur didn’t have any reason to mind what I got up to with her sister. Isolde fluttered her eyelashes with a playful smile.

Fleur also smiled, but it was chilly. “So a Spanish lady one time found that her nephew was also her son’s half-brother. Shortly after that the boy was an orphan, so she adopted him. I always admired how that Spanish lady behaved.”

My doily settled onto my lap.

Isolde laughed and left the tent.

Fleur laughed as well. “You are only a hunter of the eider duck, so leave the swans alone.”

It was an old Contrarian expression, usually applied in financial contexts but apropos here as well. In the 1970s, plenty of myopic, gung-ho investors lost their fortunes on Contrarian pillow futures.

“Father’s waiting,” Fleur prompted. “He grows impatient to be out with friends, in with enemies.” Another old saying from her homeland. “I can’t wait to show you Grandfather’s mausoleum. He was a very funny man.”

She stared me down, waiting for me to realize she meant to pack me off to Contraria with her.

bonus points for using them in order

about stichomancy writing prompts

try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!

With Much Effort I Kept the Revulsion From My Voice

  • by jenconfiscated her hip flask
  • a more appropriate resting place
  • If you don’t want to cry today
  • tiny bubbles from his angelic lips
  • a photograph of Harry’s mother

Tune in next time part 92                             Click Here for Earlier Installments

With much effort I kept the revulsion from my voice. “That,” I indicated the gelatinous blob, “is what the artist has dubbed a photograph of Harry’s mother. Why he calls it a photograph I don’t know, since it is clearly a sculpture.”

Isolde and Fleur were impressed at my knowledge. After last year’s embarrassments, I spent considerable time studying the minutia of Contrarian culture.

“You have stunned Harry!” Isolde cried. She indicated the referee looming over me. “See the spray of tiny bubbles from his angelic lips?”

“If you don’t want to cry today,” Harry said, “you will say something flattering about my mother’s likeness.” He cracked his riding crop on the sand beside me.

I gulped and stared at the blob on the serving tray. “There does not exist a more appropriate resting place than a bed of silver for a woman such as your mother,” I stammered. “Such opulence becomes her.”

Harry roared his laughter, then turned and carried the tray out of the tent.

Isolde pouted in a way that I had not seen since her father confiscated her hip flask at my wedding to Fleur. Clearly she loved Harry and his twisty goatee. There was no other excuse for her to consider his lips angelic. Unfortunately for her she thought she would not be free to marry until her eldest sister, my wife, delivered an heir.

Fortunately for me my studies of arcane Contrarian marital law found a loophole. The wording could be interpreted to mean that she would be marriageable as soon as any of the warlord’s daughters conceived by the eldest’s husband.

“Isolde,” I began.

bonus points for using them in reverse order

about stichomancy writing prompts

try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!

Prolix! Prolix! Nothing a Pair of Scissors Can’t Fix!

r-avatar

One of the things you need to do when you write with a partner is divvy up the work, and here in the writing cave we often end up each adopting part of the cast. Kent does the POV scenes for his adoptees, and Jen likewise for the other characters. It’s nothing formalized, but we do like it because it helps each characters’ scenes feel more consistent as a set.

So. On our read-through of Son of Music Novel, we agreed that the scenes from one particular POV felt longwinded and over-explainy. And this character happened to be someone Kent had adopted. It was a good fit, because this character’s personality and intellect are similar in some respects to Kent’s, so he felt comfortable with the voice. Maybe a little too comfortable.

There’s no rule against having boorish characters, even boorish POV characters. The trick is to convey them while avoiding boorish writing. We now have to address some issues because this character brought out some of the worst in Kent.* Rather, because when that happened he let it contaminate the prose.

Will we send Kent back to fix the mess he made? Will we bench him and put Jen in for a fresh take on it? We don’t know. But having two of us means we have options.

*note that we are not actually accusing Kent of being longwinded and over-explainy

My Doily Levitated

  • by Kentthis referee with a weird little beard
  • with this hottie laying right next to you
  • first impulse was to tell her of my love
  • We should get married more often
  • one writhing, festering, pulsating blob

Tune in next time part 91                             Click Here for Earlier Installments

My doily levitated above my lap as Isolde ducked in through the tent flap. She greeted Fleur with an embrace, showing no notice of my magic trick in her honor. When my turn came for felicitations, things would surely become awkward.

I had no idea. Behind Isolde came a rotund man in traditional Contrarian riding garb, including the fluffy boa and the tufts of pink fur at the tops of his glossy green boots. The thing that made him notable, though, was his facial hair. Equestrians of Fleur’s homeland usually wear muttonchops, but his formed a corkscrew on his chin. He stood over me, this referee with a weird little beard, and said, “It could get distracting with this hottie laying right next to you, so my job is to help you focus on answering the questions.”

Isolde had by then stretched out on the ground alongside her sister, so I wasn’t sure which hottie he was referring to. I looked Fleur in the eye, and my first impulse was to tell her of my love for her sister. Faking a sneeze to cover my agitation, instead I said, “We should get married more often.”

Isolde batted her lashes at me. “Let’s begin. My pedicurist is holding an appointment for me and I can’t be late. So, I have only one question: identify this.”

From an inner pocket of her diaphanous gown, she pulled a small round box which she dumped out onto one of the silver platters. The contents slid out and landed in one writhing, festering, pulsating blob.

bonus points for using them in order

about stichomancy writing prompts

try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!

The Warlord Turned to His Daughter and Said

  • by jenthat’s kind of for your gynecologist
  • looked vacantly upon the crowd
  • with the slavish tenacity of a lapdog
  • bump around awhile
  • rallied in an instant

Tune in next time part 90                             Click Here for Earlier Installments

The warlord turned to his daughter and said, “Fleur, replace your doily please. My servants will be bringing refreshments in a moment and,” he waved his hand, “that’s kind of for your gynecologist.” He looked at me. “Or your husband.”

Fleur replaced her doily in her lap and only then did her father turn off the sappy music. A small parade of teenagers, male and female, dressed in traditional Contrarian garb entered the tent bearing platters of honeyed fruit and small casks of wine. Fleur looked vacantly upon the crowd of servers while they gazed at her with the slavish tenacity of a lapdog.

The warlord clapped his hands and the teens all filed out of the tent. Before following them, Fleur’s father said, “You two have a little snack, and then bump around awhile. The next Question and Answer session will be conducted by Isolde.”

Isolde! At the thought of my nubile sister-in-law, my flagging genitals rallied in an instant.

bonus points for using them in order

about stichomancy writing prompts

try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!

Reading Aloud is Always Allowed

r-avatarWe just drank our champagne in celebration of completing the revisions on Music Novel, a process that culminated in a few nights of marathon read-aloud sessions so we could make sure our careful cuts hadn’t gone amiss anywhere.

Now, we’re doing our preliminaries for revision of Son of Music Novel, which consists of (say it with me) reading it aloud. We like to read things out loud, and we think you should do it, too.

There is a little more to it than just getting prepped for editing. We have beta readers awaiting this book with varying degrees of impatience, but it’s a first draft. We know it has some issues, and we don’t want to make it our beta readers’ job to report them to us, at least not the big ones.

We could just each read the manuscript and then compare notes. But hearing it (and in Kent’s case speaking it) is a great way to pick up on the rhythms and textures, and we find it’s a good info-dump detector, too. Working with a partner gives you a built-in listener, but even if you’re going solo it’s a valuable tool.

We also have at least one prospective beta “reader” who’s requested it as an audiobook, so perhaps one of these times we’ll make a recording.

Although My Heart Wasn’t In It

  • by KentQuick, grab the beer!
  • his hobgoblin smile
  • some names have been changed
  • That’s the whole fucking point of having a twin sister
  • you know I hate pop music

Tune in next time part 89                             Click Here for Earlier Installments

Although my heart wasn’t in it, I had to commit fully to Fleur’s Contrarian customs. I yelled the first thing that came to mind, wanting to score points by speaking up before she could.

“Look! It’s a cave where we can party! Quick, grab the beer!”

“Tequila would be more appropriate, since you’ve already brought the worm!” she bellowed.

Unfazed, I retorted, “Wait, looks like some kind of vermin already lives here — I see his hobgoblin smile!”

“Believe me, there’s nothing for that poor creature to smile about,” she shot back.

The rest of our battle of slights has become part of the Contrarian Canonical Wedding Vows, although some names have been changed. The revision to the traditional reading did strengthen the treaty between Contraria and the US, or, as the president put it, “That’s the whole fucking point of having a twin sister,” leaving out the part about actually being the twin sister in question.

But we didn’t realize we were reshaping political reality, we just got lost in our duel. Eventually her father came back into the tent to make us stop, carrying a boom box with horrible, bland melodies blaring.

“I wouldn’t have done this if I didn’t have to,” he said. “You know I hate pop music.”

bonus points for using them in order

about stichomancy writing prompts

try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!

Fleur’s Next Question Was Easy

  • by jenargue about the size of each other’s genitals
  • planning to get married
  • they hide behind trees
  • have escaped unscathed
  • that’s the name of the game

Tune in next time part 88                             Click Here for Earlier Installments

Fleur’s next question was easy, but that’s the name of the game with Contrarian tribal customs. The women always get the easy questions, but few men have escaped unscathed from these mating rites. Fleur once told me about a splinter faction of young tribesmen who rejected all of the formal questioning and ceremonial garb. They hide behind trees and waylay anyone who looks like they are planning to get married to try to talk them out of it.

My thoughts were interrupted by Fleur’s father. He posed my final question of this round, an easy one I had no trouble answering correctly. The warlord must be anxious to move on. I wondered what he had planned.

“This is the Contrarian Year of the Monkey,” he announced. “That means it is time for you lovebirds to argue about the size of each other’s genitals. Do so loudly please, so that everyone can hear.” He exited through the tent flap with his bodyguards, leaving me alone with Fleur and her devilish grin.

bonus points for using them in reverse order

about stichomancy writing prompts

try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!