This Just Became A Job

Having a day job is the proverbial double-edged sword for a writer. It consumes a big chunk of waking hours, limiting your available writing time. But it also gives you security and stability, so your creative efforts are unencumbered. This is the traditional, compartmentalized view of how things shake out.

Publishing puts a writer’s “work” and “creative” worlds on a collision course. Suddenly, in addition to creating high-quality product, you also need to plan and execute promotion, track your results, manage a budget, and show up at events, among other things. The business side doesn’t run itself. Depending on your publishing model, your DIY spirit, and your finances, most or all of those chores fall to you.

It turns into a job.

We’re going through something of an adjustment period here in the writing cave. It’s been a challenge to maintain our desired productivity on the WIP now that the first couple of novels have fled the nest. Which is ironic. We thought they’d take up less of our time once they were checked off the list, not more.

Jen’s mad skillz at project management (and her obsession with little squares of colored paper) have served us very well. Kent’s technological savvy has proved quite useful. We’re able to talk things out and divvy up workloads, because there are two of us. But it’s not easy. We’re still learning.

We don’t have any magical time-management secrets to impart, sorry. But to make up for that, we’re happy to report that we are making good headway on that WIP. Its first draft is somewhere around 75-80% complete. So, it might be a job, but it’s a job that gives satisfaction.

Based on the Similarity

  • by Kentthe Three Stooges sitting with a salad bowl
  • (Vehement cheering.)
  • therein they differ from those of Switzerland and Norway
  • The wine was excellent.
  • you know how when you make hard boiled eggs

Tune in next time part 166                             Click Here for Earlier Installments

Based on the similarity in note-taking styles, I thought this man must have graduated from our rival academy. But when I flipped to the cover of his book, I saw an unfamiliar school crest: the Three Stooges sitting with a salad bowl.

Wasting no more time on academic nostalgia, I consumed his text as fast as I could. This was obviously where the plans of Svetlana and Heinrich were all leading. Some kind of coalition that they meant to disrupt, or maybe join. I held the minutes of their last secret meeting.

“This assembly will now come to order. (Vehement cheering.) Our quail egg parfaits include gold leaf, and therein they differ from those of Switzerland and Norway. (Quizzical laughter.) The wine was excellent. Sorry there wasn’t enough for anyone else to have any. (Disappointed whistling.) Back to the parfaits, though: you know how when you make hard boiled eggs you need to adjust the time to your altitude?”

I smiled, as the lacily attired man on the floor groaned. I knew who was behind these political machinations!

bonus points for using them in order

about stichomancy writing prompts

try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!

This Was Not Part of the Plan

  • by jensufficiently versed in the stranger’s system of stenography
  • sealed in a test tube of acid
  • you’d have to pay pounds and pounds and pounds
  • One September morning
  • a traveler’s worst nightmare

Tune in next time part 165                             Click Here for Earlier Installments

This was not part of the plan. It was in fact a traveler’s worst nightmare. Forgetting for a moment that I wore only a dog collar, a spiky codpiece, and the tinsel still clinging to my thigh hair, I was surrounded by a busload of school children on a field trip, all of them hyper from the cotton candy they ate by the fistful. One September morning, during my first year at the academy, I’d gone on a field trip much like this one, only instead of visiting a whimsically saccharine paean to love we had taken a tour of the recently excavated mime settlement. The looks on the faces of our chaperones were burned into my memory and you’d have to pay pounds and pounds and pounds of either British Sterling or Swiss chocolate if you ever expected me to participate in another field trip in my life. And even then I’d probably rather sacrifice a body part and see it sealed in a test tube of acid.

What I’m saying is I don’t really like kids. Especially not in groups.

The pink, sticky horde took up the entire walkway through the heart of Valentine Village. To avoid them, I vaulted up onto a heart-shaped sign hanging over a shopfront, and from there clambered through a window.

A man dressed entirely in lace frills was seated at a desk, scribbling something in a small notebook. Upon my arrival he leapt to his feet. Before he could sound the alarm, or even cry out, I applied a nerve pinch to his neck and he collapsed.

If I was quick, I could escape this ghastly place. I began to strip the lace costume off my victim, but my eye was snagged by his abandoned notebook. Luckily I was sufficiently versed in the stranger’s system of stenography that I could decipher his notes with little trouble.

What I read shocked me. If it was true, it would blow this whole operation wide open!

bonus points for using them in reverse order

about stichomancy writing prompts

try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!

The Circle of Life

Earlier this week we launched our latest book. It’s called Tenpenny Zen — perhaps you’ve heard of it? Now that all of the champagne corks have been swept up and the fancy alcoholic milkshakes have been drunk, it’s time to look ahead.

As we’ve mentioned in other posts, it’s important for us to keep several projects in motion. When a draft of a novel is resting before editing (or between editing passes) we need to have different works to turn our minds to. Publishing the Divided Man Series means we have less fodder for that. We’re currently sitting on 4 novels that are at least at the first draft stage, so we’re not in danger of running out. Yet.

But as Jen finishes up the major edits of the final Divided Man book and we look ahead to pushing it out into the world this fall, we start to become a little bit nervous. If we don’t plan ahead, we will run out of finished novels to rotate between.

For quite a few months (in between editing and polishing the Divided Man books, and designing their covers, as well as writing Son of Science Novel) we’ve been batting around ideas for our next story world. The Divided Man books are done, at least for now. The Science Novel series is plotted to the end, and that’s what we’re working on. The Music Novel series is 2/3 done. What comes next?

I hope it’s not too spoilery if we say Ghosts. Ghosts are next. We’re both drawn to the general concept of a ghost story, but it took a lot of brainstorming to figure out how to put the Rune Skelley twist on it. We don’t want to tell a standard ghost story. There are a lot of writers out there who do that very well. So how to take some of those tropes and make them our own?

As is often the case with us, inspiration came from an unusual source. In this case, an article on Cracked. We’re obviously not going to say here what the article was about, but when Jen read it, a whole Vegas Strip’s worth of lightbulbs went off. There were a few fascinating nuggets in the article that acted as a catalyst to bring together almost all of the nebulous ideas we had floating around. It all crystalized into the most beautifully twisted story world. Jen typed it up and sent it off to Kent at work, and it sparked his fevered imagination, too.

We spent a good chunk of time that should probably have been spent writing Son of Science Novel bouncing ideas off each other and getting very excited. It felt great!

The circle of life continues.

Joan Spun to Face Jenkins

  • by Kentshoulders pale and beautiful
  • “Let us review the arguments for the various types.”
  • technique called “painting with light”
  • poison shortages
  • indeed, every inch a king

Tune in next time part 164                             Click Here for Earlier Installments

Joan spun to face Jenkins. Her diaphanous toga flared, then slid from shoulders pale and beautiful to settle on the floor. Jenkins crouched, dark and deadly, her gaze riveted by Joan’s bare chest as mine was transfixed by her posterior.

“There’s more than one kind of agency-approved makeup,” Joan said crisply. “Let us review the arguments for the various types.” Before she finished speaking, electricity arced from the tip of her mascara wand and struck Jenkins, who collapsed on the floor.

“That was an example of a technique called ‘painting with light’ — ahem, pardon me, I swallowed a bug — painting with lightning. It deviates from the customary approaches to weaponizing cosmetics, so it comes in handy during poison shortages.”

Joan turned to me. I was suddenly very conscious of my spiny codpiece.

“Don’t you think this mascara brings out her eyes?” Joan laughed at her own joke. Jenkins’s eyes bulged as she quivered where she fell.

Joan slunk toward me, cooing, “I think it was a shame the academy never had a prom. We could have been royalty. You are, indeed, every inch a king. And, it seems, more kingly with every second that goes by.”

Her approach was mesmerizing, but even under such duress I was thinking clearly enough to know I shouldn’t go for a tumble with someone who had just finished demonstrating her military-grade personal care products. When she glanced aside coquettishly, I sprang. Leaping over Jenkins, I darted out through the door she’d kicked open a few seconds ago. It was better than retreating and having to explain this setback to Svetlana and Heinrich.

bonus points for using them in order

about stichomancy writing prompts

try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!

At the Academy

  • by jenthe best-looking guy in the room
  • “There! There! Look at that troop of giraffes!”
  • “That’s for drinking only.”
  • rubbed it over Joan’s arms and legs
  • we used to be friends a long time ago

Tune in next time part 163                             Click Here for Earlier Installments

At the academy, Jason had been a terrible student. He was usually the best-looking guy in the room (unless I was there and it was a tie) and he got by on his looks. But now, here he was throwing code phrases at me. What could it mean?

“There! There! Look at that troop of giraffes!” was my cautious reply. I was curious to see whether he had the whole phrasebook memorized, or just the one message that had no sibilants to trigger his lisp.

Relief washed over my twin’s face. He jerked his head toward a backpack hanging on the coat tree, bobbing his eyebrows meaningfully.

I stepped back out of the tunnel with an extra swivel in my hips to keep Kelly distracted, and opened the pack. Sure enough it held the flask Jason’s code phrase had promised. Could he possibly be in on the plan with Heinrich and Svetlana? My skimpy outfit had no pockets, so I tucked the flask into my waistband.

With a nod of appreciation, I sashayed back to the tunnel and hurried on. There were occasional signs of wild fishermen, but nothing fresh. I breathed a sigh of relief and concentrated on following the map on my palm.

When I reached the door that marked the end of my subterranean journey, I pressed my ear against it. I was hoping to hear Tessa, but I was disappointed.

I slid the panel open and crept into the room while its sole inhabitant was distracted at the mirror, applying mascara. She was dressed like Aphrodite.

“Hello, Joan,” I said. “It’th me, Jathon.”

Joan narrowly avoided poking herself in the eye with her mascara wand as she jumped to her feet. “You fool! You know you shouldn’t be here!”

I shrugged and pulled the flask from my waistband, poured some of the liquid into my hand. When Joan saw, her eyes got wide. She spluttered, “That’s for drinking only.”

I put the flask down and looked at the pale green liquid in my palm, then rubbed it over Joan’s arms and legs while she stared at me.

“You’re not Jason!” she said. “But I know who you are. We used to be friends a long time ago, at the academy. Your name is–”

The room’s other door crashed open and Jenkins barreled in, yelling, “Step 5, motherfuckers!”

bonus points for using them in order

about stichomancy writing prompts

try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!

Tenpenny Zen – First Chapter Sneak Peek

Tenpenny Zen won’t make its illustrious debut until Monday, March 20. That’s an agonizing 3 days away! We know that you will spend your weekend at home, staring at the clock, desperate for something — anything! — to make the time pass faster.

Don’t fret, faithful reader. Rune Skelley has your back. Here, for the eyes of none but the elite minority of humans known as “Internet Users,” is a sneak preview of Chapter One of Tenpenny Zen. Treat it as the holy relic it is, read it over and over until you have memorized every word, and then, come Monday, you will be primed for the full experience.

Dig in!

Tenpenny Zen

a novel of sex, cults, and an interdimensional henge contraption

Chapter One: Nice Town

Control subject EE may be exhibiting the traits we hoped to see in Group Sigma. Work continues toward establishing a reliable set of tests and measures for subject EE, but several measures are already in place, including surveillance gear in the school and the house.

Project Lullaby archives, 1962

JUNE 1973

Strapped down on her back on a black slab, Ester Elizabeth Finch felt like the dead frog from last year’s biology class. At least this year she’d be taking chemistry. Plus she’d turn 18 in November and her dad could no longer drag her to this asinine research program.

At first today seemed like the same familiar nonsense. Friendly but vaguely creepy men in white coats wanting her to guess what playing cards they held, make the marble roll, tell them what color light was shining on her hand within a box. Hypnotizing her and interviewing her about weird stuff she didn’t know while a lie-detector ran off its record of the answers she made up.

But then they wanted to give her a physical. A complete physical.

They apologized that no female nurses had clearance to examine her. When the doctor left, she couldn’t find her clothes. She was still wearing the stupid hospital gown.

Next they told her they needed a scan. It was a very sensitive machine. Any little movement would mess it up, so they needed to strap her down. They attached electrodes to her temples and forehead. It had now been over 15 minutes since any of them said a word to her. About half a dozen very creepy men in white coats drifted around the chamber, looking at the consoles and conferring excitedly, green-faced in the glow of their data screens. Ester caught isolated fragments of their speech.

“…resolution is awful compared to x-rays, but it images soft tissue…”

“Did you calibrate this scope?”

“…dripping serotonin today?”

“No. The synthetic.”

“…got it on-scale now. Jesus.”

“Hold off on that drip. We’re not…”

“…that can’t be right…”

“But the instruments agree. It must be.”

“Dial back another couple pegs. The synth has quite a kick.”

One of the men pushed an IV stand over to Ester’s left, and dabbed her arm with a cold swab before inserting the needle. He twisted the valve to start the drip, tossed a heartless little grin down at her, and strode off.

All the chatter ceased abruptly as a line of tiny green spiders began streaming down the IV tube and into Ester’s veins. Her chest constricted. She couldn’t scream.

[ Continue Reading ]

“So, Kelly,” I Sneered

  • by KentHow’s my precious little brother?
  • and the wild fishermen
  • People hate it.
  • we owe it to you to pepper your puppy
  • gazing with idle lust

Tune in next time part 162                             Click Here for Earlier Installments

“So, Kelly,” I sneered, “How’s my precious little brother?” Let her figure out which one I meant.

I didn’t wait for her answer anyway, because conversing with these people wasn’t a step in the plan. I shoved the bookcase aside to reveal a hidden passageway, its walls diagonally striped red and white like peppermint. When everything else was done over in pink and lavender, this tunnel retained its original color scheme.

“Don’t go in there,” Jason said. “You’ll get lost, and the wild fishermen will devour you!”

I shook my head. “You shouldn’t lie so poorly. People hate it.” The wild fishermen had been driven out of these tunnels even before Uncle Jinx started building TinselTown. None had been seen this far north in years.

“Still,” Jason insisted, “we owe it to you to pepper your puppy with protective magic. Don’t say we didn’t try.”

I had already taken a step into the candy-striped passage, but I looked back. Kelly was gazing with idle lust at my inadequately covered derriere, so evidently she hadn’t recognized the puppy-peppering code phrase. But how did Jason know about it?

bonus points for using them in order

about stichomancy writing prompts

try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!

I Like My Thighs Unperforated

  • by jenwho also worked at the bank
  • avoid being intimate with Jim
  • I tried and tried to explain to him
  • “Jesus wants me to be a dick,”
  • I’ll be using your name

Tune in next time part 161                             Click Here for Earlier Installments

I like my thighs unperforated, so instead of climbing down the ladder into the tunnel, I jumped. My landing was cushioned by the piles of tinsel that got thrown down here when the place was rebranded as Valentine Village. I had to wade through heaps and drifts of the stuff as I made my way through the labyrinth. In the soft light that bounced off every surface, I consulted the crude map Svetlana had scrawled on my palm.

When I reached the correct door I took a deep breath. I was not looking forward to this confrontation.

I crouched down and peered through the keyhole. In the gaudy lavender and pink room on the other side, I saw my twin, Jason, as I had been told to expect. What was a surprise was the presence of Kelly. She was the love of Jason’s life, and she’d gone to prison in my stead once upon a time, through no fault of my own. She worked at the bank we robbed, and she was sleeping with my brother Jim who also worked at the bank. Jason begged her to find ways to avoid being intimate with Jim, but she claimed there was no other way. I tried and tried to explain to him that if Kelly truly loved him she wouldn’t be banging our brother against his wishes, but Jason was blinded by love. He let Kelly walk all over him.

Like now.

Jason was still wearing the priest costume he’d adopted while hiding out at that little church in Rhode Island. He was laying on the floor, and Kelly was standing on his back, digging her toes in.

“You’re a naughty, naughty priest, aren’t you?” she purred.

“Jesus wants me to be a dick,” he groaned.

I burst into the room before things could get any tawdrier. Kelly shrieked, and then started laughing. I looked down and saw that miles of tinsel had gotten entangled in my leg hair, making it look like I was wearing shiny disco chaps. It did not add to the menacing air I wanted to exude, but it did cause a distraction. While Kelly guffawed and Jason tried to figure out what was so funny, I pounced. Moments later I had the two of them bound hand and foot.

“Sorry Jason,” I said. “For Step 4 of Svetlana and Heinrich’s plan I’ll be using your name.”

bonus points for using them in order

about stichomancy writing prompts

try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!