Oksana Smirked

  • by Kentlooks like he smells bad
  • very superstitious
  • two inches deep
  • called it my initiation ritual
  • I had an active fantasy life

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Oksana smirked. “Hoping to gain an edge during the auction? Looking for inside info? None of that! I know all about you, Jason. I did a thorough background before sending any invitations. Yours said, ‘He looks like he smells bad but most of the time it’s not an issue.’ So, there’s no way you can surprise me.”

“Surprise!” came a familiar, lisping voice from the cavern entrance. He beat-boxed for a second and then chanted, “My name is Jason and I am fashionably early for the auction.”

Dammit! Jason would probably be more convincing as himself than I was.

“What now?” Oksana crowed. “Two Jasons? My background check didn’t say anything about there being two Jasons!”

“He’s my twin brother,” I lisped. “He likes to pretend he’s me. Can’t blame him.”

Oksana looked from me to Jason and back. “Why should I believe you’re the real one?”

“Because I was here first?” I tried.

“We Colloquillians are deeply suspicious people by nature,” she said. “And we’re also very superstitious about punctuality. Since you were, in fact, more fashionable in your earliness, I’m inclined to believe you.”

“But I have the invitation right here!” the real Jason complained.

“Easily forged,” Oksana said with a flip of her hand. “You will be held in the lower chambers until after the auction, when I will decide what to do with you.” Several of the yeti statues unfroze and chivvied Jason out of the cavern. “He’ll be fine,” she said to me, sotto voce. “The lower chamber floods sometimes, but right now the water is only two inches deep. When I arrived here that was where I lived, by choice. I called it my initiation ritual, and it truly was because it earned me the respect of these majestic creatures. They are not as they appear, you know.” Her voice dropped to a harsh whisper. “They’re not really ninjas!”

I nodded knowingly, but inside I just wished I had an active fantasy life like hers.

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