Now That I Was No Longer
sounded like you were smothering a dolphin- during my ska phase
- how to correctly poop in the woods
- most magnetic tragedy
- stoned to the bone
Tune in next time part 662 Click Here for Earlier Installments
Now that I was no longer stoned to the bone on icicle slugs, I wanted to take action and make my escape from these horrid islands as quickly as possible. Forging Jason’s signature was meant to expedite this, but now that they had a signed release the reality show people were less concerned than ever with my demands.
“Get some fresh slugs,” said the annoying overhead voice, “and we’ll pick things up when they come through the door.” The crew scampered to their places of concealment and Dr Ferguson beckoned me to take position. I folded my arms and shook my head.
“They need to reshoot,” she said with a shrug. “The data from the first take was lost due a freak power surge, which didn’t damage anything else but was probably the most magnetic tragedy that’s ever happened to their equipment.”
“Second most magnetic,” chimed in the disembodied voice. “Right behind losing the whole sequence when that Svenborgian royal demonstrated how to correctly poop in the woods.”
“How is it a reality show if you do stuff over?” I demanded. Numerous hidden production assistants failed to fully stifle their laughter. I rolled my eyes and stood my ground.
Dr Ferguson proposed that I might maintain my integrity — and help keep the production moving — by giving them a performance to use in place of the lost footage. She suggested I use the material I had developed during my ska phase, by which of course she meant Jason’s ska phase. Was she toying with me? I had no choice but to plunge into song.
“Cut! Stop!” yelled the voice in the ceiling. “We can’t use that. It sounded like you were smothering a dolphin with a bagpipe full of toads. Listen, if you want that plane ticket you’re going to have to do better than that.”
bonus points for using them in reverse order