Never Have I
— of course kids tell scary stories about them- I would have been prepared for the screams
- my knives a blur in my hands
- mistrusted my own senses more
- Listening.
Never have I mistrusted my own senses more than the time I was on Iron Chef and the secret ingredient that I had to build every course of my meal around was revealed to be grasshoppers. Ah grasshoppers — of course kids tell scary stories about them, but I love them. They’re best, in my opinion, sautéd in a little olive oil and tossed with sea salt. The fact that I love this food that is generally reviled had me doubting myself strongly.
When the pedestal displaying the secret ingredient finished its rise from below the floor, and the fog cleared, I ran to collect my share of the lovely green bugs. To my surprise they were still alive. I hadn’t expected that. I felt a little guilty discussing my recipe plan with my sous chefs because it felt like the grasshoppers were watching us. Observing. Listening.
If I’d had time to think I would have been prepared for the screams of all the tiny bugs when I threw them in the blender with a chopped avocado and hit purée. The sound quickly died, along with the grasshoppers, and I left the blender whirling away as I moved on to my next dish. I wanted to show off a little, so I dumped a handful of the lively bugs onto my cutting board and went after them, my knives a blur in my hands until every last specimen was bisected and tossed into the wok along with a hefty portion of ginger root.
In addition to my grasshopper smoothie appetizer, and grasshopper ginger stir fry, I concocted a delicious grasshopper tempura, and made caramel popcorn with pecans and grasshoppers for a whimsical desert.
Suck it, Iron Chef Morimoto! My cuisine reined supreme!
bonus points for not going in the expected direction?