My Wife Paused in the Doorway
wearing a diamond wedding band- Too handsome
- neither wound was fatal
- needed to tie it to someone
- hungry, not smart
Tune in next time part 382 Click Here for Earlier Installments
My wife paused in the doorway with her arms folded across her chest, and even in the prison basement’s uneven illumination I spotted that she was wearing a diamond wedding band. It was doubtless some royal heirloom of tremendous ceremonial import, and I wondered what had prompted her to suddenly start wearing it.
“Take off that silly head,” she barked. I hoped she was addressing Jim, in his blue panda costume, and not me, in my improvised Contrarian General’s uniform.
Jim set aside his coffee mug and lifted the oversize plush head off his shoulders. “Couldn’t drink my joe with this thing on, anyway.”
Fleur tsked and gave her dark curls a shake. “Too handsome.”
I chuckled. “Then I guess it’s good you married me.” Fleur’s blue eyes shot my way, demonstrating the veracity of Jim’s ‘laser danger’ quip. I felt the sting of her gaze from each eye, though neither wound was fatal.
“Don’t be insubordinate, General,” she snarled, “or it’ll be the Battle of Brouhaha for you.” I hoped she was bluffing, knowing enough of the military history of Contraria to understand the reference. It was a victory where their general was the only casualty, because they used a kite as a decoy and needed to tie it to someone. Accounts diverge as to why the general was nominated for such duty, but most chroniclers agree that by this time the rank and file were low on rations and perhaps not thinking clearly. These soldiers were hungry, not smart, which has become a sort of unofficial motto of the Contrarian armed forces since that time.
“Take the kids and go chat with the spy,” she told me. “I need to talk to my brother-in-law alone.”
bonus points for using them in order