Many Places Have Quaint Wedding Customs
her mouth so close to his ear- wonder just how many eye doctors
- I just can’t convince myself
- unique (though I’m hoping not as unique as I think, fingers crossed)
- paints a pair of eyebrows
Tune in next time part 624 Click Here for Earlier Installments
Many places have quaint wedding customs. I knew Bumpengrynd’s would be weird and embarrassing, like everything about their culture, but I had little idea what I should expect. I certainly wouldn’t have predicted that the officiant paints a pair of eyebrows and a mustache on the bride and groom.
That indignity was mild compared to what I was wearing: an inversion of Hildegard’s tinsel dress consisting of cuffs around my ankles, multicolored strands, static cling, and sheer force of will. I wished for an air vent to stand on as my outfit drooped more and more throughout the ceremony. Finally, we reached the exchange of vows. Of course Hildegard had written both sets.
As she passed my notecards to me she muttered, “These are unique (though I’m hoping not as unique as I think, fingers crossed). I just can’t convince myself that in a few more seconds I’ll be Mrs Dr Chartreuse Pamplemousse! I wonder just how many eye doctors I’ll get to be married to…”
Finally, while I tried to pretend I wasn’t basically nude in front of all the guests, Hildegard spoke her vows in a whisper. Never has a bride whispered to a groom with her mouth so close to his ear, so though her whisper was exceedingly faint I caught every eldritch syllable.
bonus points for using them in reverse order