Lyudmila had a Very Sketchy Romantic History
, the occasional magician- it had been about eels
- don’t be cruel to me
- “How genius of you.”
- a very long running affair
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Lyudmila had a very sketchy romantic history. She’d dated con-artists, exotic animal smugglers, back-alley dentists, the occasional magician. You get the picture. She said being a contortionist made her tastes flexible, too. The night of the butternut incident her date was an accordion player who’d had one hit song, and it had been about eels. Lyudmila wanted him to sing it for her, and he was refusing because he wanted to be known for something — anything — else.
“Don’t be cruel to me,” she pouted. “Sing it.” She pouted very fetchingly, but he refused.
I plucked the accordion from his hands and, thanks to my Academy training, played a passable version of the hit, which, in the Yankovic code spelled out the word “Butternut” over and over.
“How genius of you.” Lyudmila purred, running her hand up my thigh and cupping my very own butternut. And that was the beginning of a very long running affair between myself and my best friend’s sister.
Things ended messily, of course, but that’s a story for another day. For now I needed to know what she’d sent these two wooly dreamboats to tell me.
bonus points for using them in order