John Made an Embarrassed Little Noise
knees began to buckle- most erotic Dennis the Menace
- shave their taints
- out of spite
- I’ve been doing it my whole life and it’s hard to stop.
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John made an embarrassed little noise and scraped his glove on the stone floor to remove the offending globule. He got to his knees, reaching to Tessa for help the rest of the way up. The sight of him kneeling and her poised over him brought a flutter to my chest and my knees began to buckle. It was either the schmaltziest rom-com poster or the most erotic Dennis the Menace ever published. Why it was hitting me so hard I couldn’t understand, but I slumped back against the wall for support.
“Odorless and quick-acting,” John said as he stood with assistance from Tessa. “And there’s a convenient antidote that can be administered in advance. Those are the pluses. But it’s saliva-activated and, of course, doesn’t work on robots. Those are only pluses under very specialized circumstances.”
Tessa turned to me with a curious expression, and John moved with lightning speed, his finger jabbing the button mounted behind her left ear and freezing her in that quizzical pose.
“Nothing personal,” he said. I tried to lunge at him, but only managed to slide down into a seated position. “This is really for your own good, Jason. You’re not ready to face these people. You’d be found out as a mole inside of an hour, but I can blend in. You see, to them outsiders are the cause of all the world’s ills, and they shave their taints out of spite. It’s just a lucky coincidence that mine’s already shaved. I’ve been doing it my whole life and it’s hard to stop.” He shook his head. “If only your twin brother were here, he’d understand. I could bring him along on this mission. Oh well.”
And with that he loped off into the darkness of the tunnel.
bonus points for using them in order